this life as a mom
I have amazing girls!
I love being their mom .... most of the time :) ... and I just wanted to clarify something from my post "that girl needs a spanking" ... when I said I sometimes don't like my daughter ... the emphasis is that I LOVE my girls .. I would die for them in a heartbeat .. BUT sometimes the behaviours and choices and attitudes that they have/make .. are hard ... there have been times with the girls that I don't want to be home *at that time* ... there are times when they make me cry from words spewed at me .. there are times I have felt that I don't want to be around them .. times when I have even said "I quit", those are not the proud moments but I would be lying to say I didn't feel them.
It took me a long time to find myself and my strength as a mother ... I certainly don't always get it right ...far from it at times .. they know I am human ... I make mistakes too ... I am just trying to do the best that I can for them with what I have to work with ... my knowledge, my experience, and my beliefs and convictions.
I love that I can teach them to find their strengths and stand on their own feet... that life should be led with vigour and authenticity. Being single was the best teaching method I had to show them what they can do .. to be fearless and face the world with laughter and tears and all the inbetweens.
and now I am also this wonderful little baby's momma
so I am navigating this crazy thing called motherhood to teens and a baby... I am exhausted!! that is an understatement!! I think I have said that more then a few times here! I am so loving my time at home with my baby .. it has given me the opportunity to spend more time with my girls as well... including time to cook more meals instead of eat out so much which was killing my bank account and honestly spoiling the girls!! they often complain about my food, like straight out say "I don't like your cooking" ... they don't mince words (I have NO idea where they get that from!!) even though I am sure that the food is completely edible! Their friends... who I feed on a regular basis as well... all state that they love my cooking .. they don't understand why my girls complain so much... then one of their friends said : you guys eat out too much : and I think that was an ah huh moment for us all .. my kids were spoiled by me working in a restaurant and being too tired too cook and so we ate out ... at least 2 -3 times a week!!! yah ouch ... and now that I am home and cook more they have ramped up the complaining ... but I am not taking it personally ... honestly I don't care I cook what I cook and they can eat it or leave it .. I certainly am not going to cater to that! At the same time I am trying to find new easy yummy recipes as I am getting tired of the old faithfuls!! A couple of weeks ago I tried a new stuffed chicken recipe that was easy and didn't need a whole lot of ingredients that I didn't already have in the house.. I filmed it on my phone's camera and have been wanting to edit it and put it all together along with the recipe until I ran in to a problem with iMovie .. the problem is I can't figure it out! so I have enlisted my VERY busy nephew to help me but I know it's a lot to ask and since I have been waiting for the video to post on my blog and it hasn't been ready and then there is the whole "I have a small baby that demands most of my time" factor .. and yah it didn't get done! I am learning to be ok with that ... lol .. I am not a scheduled person but when I get something in my head that I want to do then it's all I can think of .. I am a tad obsessive!!
SO this post isn't perfect, it isn't what I wanted it to be and over a week later then I wanted it to be .. there is NO video (yet) and I am probably forgetting a thousand things to say and not taking the time to write it out all correctly and my grammar probably sucks!!
this is my life
at the moment
I am not a famous blogger... I am not a great editor of my own words... my posts are not polished and I give myself permission to be ok with that... it is what it is .. I am doing the best that I can with the time that I allow it to take from my kids (and making them food they complain about haha)
Here is a little clip of what I was trying to put together for you... my oldest daughter grabbed the pan right after I pulled it from the oven!! yup silly girl!!!