When words are not enough

The tragedy this past weekend ... and believe me using the word tragedy seems too light of a word... of the girls loosing a friend at 15 years old... 13 days before Christmas .... in a senseless act of violence... none of which makes sense... and I can't stop the tears.

This boy has been in my home several times .. in fact he was the boy who put a shoe in my microwave last New Years Eve and broke it :) ... he had a huge smile and was so kind to my girls. I don't know everything about him.... I didn't know he was being raised by a single mom ... I didn't know he was an avid skateboarder... I don't know everything about the many kids that cross my door way but usually.. and I say usually cuz they are teens and not always ummm are responsible .. but they are usually welcome in my home!!

I can see his face in my head and my heart breaks and the tears flow as I think of his life being cut so short and his mom ... what his mom is going through no mother should experience... accidents happen I know that but to lose a child in this way.. I cannot imagine the horrors she is facing.

How do you burry a child?

It's not natural!

I saw on Facebook some idiots and yes I think they are idiots .. calling out the parents.. where are the parents they typed from the safety of their living rooms cocooned in their ideals that their peanut gallery comments mean anything to anyone!!! I was livid!! like really livid!! I wrote back God forbid any of the parents read your stupid remarks! this is a time to support pray and console not sit and point fingers from your computers!! Some comments were saying the kids have nothing to do and so this is what happens ... pretty sure if you read the Bible in Genesis only a few paragraphs in you will read a story of Cain killing his brother Abel ... this world has had violence from the moment man fell into sin. This "sleepy little town" is no longer a sleepy little town ... the population has more than doubled since I was a teenager in this town!! we have 1 more high school here since I graduated in 1991 and we desperately need 1 more and soon!! the houses are being torn down and townhouses and apartment complexes quickly spring in their place!

more people = more crime

kids will be kids ... yes they are exposed to so much more then we were and we were exposed to so much more than our parents were and they were exposed to more then our grandparents were and on and on it goes... it's called social evolution!

Not far from where this despicable crime happened is an area where when I was only 12/13 years old would sneak out of my friends house ( my house was out in the "country" comparably) and we would walk up and down the streets... feeling pretty "bad ass" and invincible. I think it's in kids nature to feel invincible! we didn't vandalize or do anything wrong it was just enough that we had managed to skillfully elude the sleeping parents and make it outside!

Skip forward to today ... today kids have the technology to know where the action is at instantly!! we had to rely on letting people know at school and land line telephones where the monthly party was at .. I do think/feel there are much more parties going on today then we had back then ... but then again twice as many people are here now!! ... I know that kids get others to boot alcohol for them ... I did a couple of times when I was a teen, I admit it! I know that some kids get their alcohol from their parents and the reason I have heard is that at least the parents know where it is coming from and not tainted with some drugs or something ... kids get alcohol... we did as teens and I know my parents did as teens as well!

so who's to blame?

the parents?
the lack of more for today's kids to do?
the alcohol?
violence in video games?

all of the above?

I am not sure we can take each situation and blanket the responsibility on any particular thing ... each case is different ... each case has a string of events that somehow lead up to these tragedy's! and I know I wish I could bubble wrap my kids and keep them forever safe and that no bad ever ever ever happen to them .. but I know I can't ...and sometimes the fear of that and the unknown are really hard to carry.

My girls are already going over in their heads how they could have possibly intervened or prevented this from happening .. if they had had a sense ... if they had gone to the party as well could they somehow have made him not leave when he did or take the street home that he did....it's torture. Watching them grieve and mourn and wrap their young minds around this is so hard to watch.. it's something no one should have to go thru.

So where do we go from here? ... how can I help? how can I possibly make a stand or a difference in any of this senselessness?

I do feel that if anything is missing in these times we are living right now it is a sense of community... neighbours no longer really know who each other are... like passing ships in the busyness of life we are all so caught up in ourselves! why do we have to yell fire instead of help to get people to spring into action out of their homes and out where something bad is happening? why are we all so busy that we don't have hardly any dinners together as families? why do we not visit with people face to face but send a text or a Facebook status to let the massives know what's going on in our lives? where are the street family bbq's? is it due to the rise of broken homes? both parents working and therefore the schedules are that much tighter? why do we seem to have a closed door approach instead of the open door policy that I grew up in? is it possible to get it back?

These are the questions I am asking myself.

After being so touched by the dinner at work and the response of that family ( you have to read my last post) and now this loss of a friend to my girls... I find myself feeling that more has to be done. I can't ask anyone else to do it but it's a shift inside of me that I have to follow... how do I help this single mom who just lost her son? how do I be there MORE for these kids who find themselves at my house so often? how do I be more aware? how can I speak into their lives more and be a safe place? how do I keep my girls safe and from danger? how in the world do I wrap them in that bubble wrap I so desperately feel they need?

honestly ... words are just not enough!!


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