I was facing it at work, in my personal life and at home ... with the teen girls!! cuz nothing says conflict quite like a battle between yourself and some pumped up hormonal frontal lobe shrinkage teen girls!!! it takes the cake in conflict :)
Raising teen girls ... by the time Faith is 20 I will be a full blown expert!!! I might not remember my name but I will be an expert!!
I believe that most people parent out of their own life experiences, examples from their parents and the people around them, and their personal belief system ... then add to that the unique individual personality of each child ... and you are constantly reprioritizing and adjusting your parenting style.
Sometimes you are simply surviving and times when you feel like hey things are going well, I've got this in the bag... and times when you cry and fret yourself to sleep at night! moments when they hold your hand in public and others when they wait in the car while you run your errands cuz it's too embarrassing to be seen in THAT store mom.... days when they want me to take them out for lunch and hours when they lock themselves up in their room cuz you are SOOO annoying! times when they want to try to climb up on your lap and then drop you just as quickly cuz their friend called.
There are times when .... and I am just being perfectly honest here .... I don't really like my kids ... for those of you reading this who do not have teens you can put your judging comments away until you are firmly IN this stage :) haha... I would have gasped to hear that being said when my kids were little,... I LOVE my kids ... always! that is never a question but it is so hard sometimes when the attitude is so thick you can barely breath and the disrespect is tangible to look at your kids and LIKE them :)
The power struggle between these beings who SOOOO think they know it all and can handle everything and firmly believe... they got it ... and you with your life experience and maturity that knows that they completely do not have it not even one tiny little bit do they have it.... yup that struggle ... that's hard! It's hard to let your kids fail... it's down right scary! It's scary cuz they don't know how vulnerable they are and how fragile life can be ... I worry, too many accidents and kids being hurt and worse, being in the wrong place at the wrong time ... and yet I know we cannot protect them from everything ... I just so wish I could!
At the end of the day I thank God for giving me these girls, I am excited to see more of who they will be when they regain full use of their brains :) and the teenage angst is over... mostly cuz I just want this teenage angst to be over!! ha.... I see their value and their potential and I long for the day they step into that! Meanwhile I will vent cry and scream.. yes there was a lot of screaming going on the other night!! and I will continue to pray and pray and pray .... I do take comfort I am not the only mom of teenagers out there who is pulling my hair out... while I just want to be pulling their's out!! My mom survived 4 girls... I will too :)
I love my girls and in this time of teenage angst I will cherish the times when they DO want me around and when they willingly hug me and tell me they love me ... I love them with every fibre of my being, just don't ask me to like them ALL the time :)