I used to be .... I am
Lately on Facebook there has been this list of what you might not know about me going around ... I played along but had to really think cuz once again my open book syndrome kind of blabs all all the time! .... just side bar have to say this is one thing my hubby loves about me, he does however think I give away too much info to strangers! he said one time you just gave enough info to that stranger so he can figure out where we live, what if he is a psycho??!! ... so I am trying to reign in certain details of my blabbing abilities!
My niece in law did one and one of the items she listed was this " I used to want to be Amish" I totally giggled at that and knowing her, wasn't totally surprised but it has left me thinking a lot about my own childhood and the things that I wanted to be. When we are little, at least me anyway, it seemed that the world was HUGE and the possibilities were endless!
I used to watch Little House on the Prairie and think how fun that life would be .. until I was older and had a reality check of how much I love modern appliances :)
I used to want to be a teacher... I even had my dad, cuz he could be talked into buying me pretty much anything :), take me to the "teacher store" where I had him buy me all sorts of teaching supplies and I set up a classroom in my basement and taught my teddies and dolls the ABC's ... until I was in high school and realized my study habits were not so great, memorization was off the charts but I didn't have a clue how to study and the idea of at least 4 years of University was daunting to me.
I used to want to be a nurse... until I realized that I don't like gore and I realized a nurse spends a lot of time wiping bums.. no thank you!
I used to want to be on Broadway .. I love singing.. I sing in the shower a lot... I sang in choirs at school and even the special coveted "Gospel Choir" at the private school I went to.. I also played the clarinet haha I don't think today I could even get a squawk out of one even though I played for 3 years and placed in our private school competitions... oh I also used to play in our church band Sunday mornings! I also love acting... I actually think it's one of the things that I am good at .. probably even better then singing. I have been in a couple of plays.. ok they were put on by our church but it was in front of hundreds of people!! and I helped with the make up as well.. I enjoyed that to. I would watch musicals... my absolute favourite kind of movie ... and sigh and think ... I could do that... until I realized the odds were definitely not in my favour and as much as I can sing I get that I am not Broadway good. I have from time to time mulled the thought of auditioning for our local theatre but I talk myself out of it pretty quickly... I don't know why... chicken? insecure? time restraints?
I used to want to be a missionary... I went to Africa when I was 17 with YWAM, I went to Ireland with my church 6 months after getting home from Africa ... I know I have a heart for the motherless and my favourite part of being in Africa was building relationships with the young girls that lived around. Today my house is usually full of kids ... my girls bring their friends home and many call me mum ..or momma L ... I have been told that in 1 of their friends case I am the only kindness in his life.. my door is always open.. my heart is always open... I love all the kids being around... I don't love them eating all my expensive school snacks :) but I do love feeding them dinner!
I knew I wanted to be a mom ... I used to want 6 kids until I birthed my first daughter and my eyes were very open to the reality that childbirth kind of sucks!! I didn't have great deliveries or easy pregnancies and if you know me or read my blog I also have struggled to stay pregnant with a high amount of miscarriages ... but I fought past what Dr's told me was possible.. past when a lot of others give up ... I didn't give up... I love being a mom to my 4 girls.
This week as I was thinking of all the things that I wanted to be I realized that in many ways I have achieved all of them... I am crafty and resourceful like they had to be on Little House.. I can make meals stretch, I can sew clothing out of curtains, I can can foods, I can crochet and I can pretty much put together any box from IKEA :) .... I am a teacher to my kids and to staff that I oversee, I have trained many a worker and I am good at adapting lessons to different individuals, I have been a Sunday School teacher and a youth worker..... I am a nurse .. I have wiped MANY BUMS FOR MANY YEARS!... I have sat with sick babies/girls through the night, applied band aids and know when to call the Dr!.... I may not have a career on Broadway but my life is never dull and is full of drama :) my girls all have quite the sense of humour as well and so when we are out and about we kind of draw a certain amount of attention!! we laugh a lot! I am a missionary .. my house is full of kids that I speak into, I am a good neighbour I think!, and I try to walk my walk with integrity and reverence.... I am a mom ... I love my girls with everything in me ... ok sometimes I do not like them very much but I love them for all their different personalities.
My life may not have turned out exactly how I dreamed when I was a little girl and I certainly still have dreams, to travel more, to have a house on property :) etc.. I have had more heart ache then I could have wrapped my head around. I have lost loved ones, babies and an entire family in a sense and have gained a whole new even bigger family in return. I can look and testify to the Scripture in Ecclesiastes about to every Season there is a time..
I have experienced many seasons and many different kind of times... and being only 39 I know there are a lot more yet to come!!