new shoes

I am still trying to figure out the new Mac that we bought ourselves for Christmas ... it's awesome but a lot of new things to navigate :) I am wanting to upload a picture of a person running as it kind of fits into my post but no such luck so I am just telling you to imagine if you would a picture of a pair of running shoes...the sun setting... and the open road in front!
that is how I am kind of feeling these days! As I have known for a long time change is constant and I have known  that change in certain areas of my life were bound to happen and it looks like it's time to put on a new pair of shoes and look at the road ahead of me! cuz it's happening!
First things first ... my 1 year wedding anniversary!
It's amazing to me how far I have come in 3 years! only 3 years ago my world as I knew it was shattered completely.. it was a while in the making but that was the final draw, walls were put up, much much healing occurred, new roads had to be navigated, new challenges to overcome, finding myself again, more healing, helping the girls navigate all the new things, then when I wasn't expecting it ..... love... the kind of love that I didn't know existed, the kind that brought a completion to the healing that I had already started, the kind that is unconditional, the kind that warms your soul, the kind that expects nothing in return but gives of itself unselfishly and completely ... this is the love that I receive daily from my husband. I have said it before and I will say it again ... I knew that I knew that I knew this man would be good to me everyday of my life.. I also knew I deserved that treatment! (that took some work to find again)... and I was right ... more then right! he is good to me and he is good to  my girls... the year has flown by and I just keep falling more and more in love with him. He was just the right kind of " stable" me and the girls needed and he is so there for us all, it's amazing to me. I can see that his presence has helped with the girls and all the teenage girliness that happens! understatement ... he is who he says he is, he does what he says he will do and he treats us all with love and respect. I could go on and on but no need to make you all green with jealousy :) 
Second of all ..... one of my babies is turning 15 on Monday!
My little miracle baby, my baby who brought so much healing to my heart after 5 miscarriages in a row and then being born sick (underdeveloped trachea) and then overcoming it and growing into a healthy bright smart funny intelligent beautiful talented caring compassionate young woman is a JOY to watch! I love being her mom .... most of the time ;) haha just kidding, she is my "steady eady" as I call her... I so enjoy her company and love our talks ... even though it takes a LOT to get her to share her deepest feelings, she hates to rock the boat and sacrifices her feelings to others a lot... she is deeply caring and a natural with babies and kids, she is respectful to her teachers at school and applies herself which pays off by her being on the honour roll and getting straight A's. She keeps her room clean and tidy... yes 1 out of the 4 know how to clean!! phew .... she is pretty responsible and is just fun to be around. And I can hardly believe she is turning 15!! that is so crazy to me!
and finally ...change ... the running shoes, the sun setting which kind of represents peace to me, and the open road in front .... it all represents me and being ready and prepared, having peace and knowing even though I can't see the end of the road I can still see right in front of me and the path is there for me to choose. I am getting myself ready and prepared for a change in my working career.... I am working through the anxiety of the change and unknown, preparing myself for what I need to do to change my shoes :) and choosing to see the sun set, the peace in the situation.
It's amazing to me how when I look back at just over 3 years ago and where I am today how far down the road I have come and I know in a year from now there will be new adventures to share.  

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