After having all my children ... 4 girls ... I could kind of relate to Miss Hannigan's character on one of my favourite movies Annie .. ok minus the gin bathtub, desperate for a man, side of her character :) but the completely surrounded by so many little girls side! I often sang some of the song she sings about all the "little girls" !!! again not the men part just the being feeling of drowning in little girls :)
I say all this with tongue in cheek but the simple fact is 4 daughters is a lot of Estrogen!! There are times when dealing with the teenage girl drama is pretty all consuming... I lose sleep, I worry, I stress and then I get upset and feel at a loss of how I can best help. But out? push in? let go? hold tight? sometimes it's hard to know what the right actions are.
One of the hardest parts with the girls is watching their relationships with each other. I soooo want them to hold on tight to each other. Being on this side of teenage-hood and having 3 older sisters and no brothers I get how it is to be raised in a house full of Estrogen!! trust me I get it! they of course think I don't know ANYTHING and things were different way way back then ... and they are not me and I am not them and yadda yadda yadda ... I know what they still have to learn ... that sisters are everything! that they will outlast all their "important" friendships that they are so willing to do anything for right now. That their sisters will be there their entire lives...their friends will come and go ... it's hard to watch.
I hurt when my girls hurt. I hate watching them in situations that I know are going to cause them pain and yet I know that really there is little I can do but watch ... and pray of course but watching, it is hard .. not rushing in and scooping them up in my arms and putting band aids on every little hurt is hard not to do... they don't want me to do that any more .. they want me to give them space and not meddle cuz according to them it only makes matters worse. It's hard to not meddle being perfectly honest here!
It bothers me when I watch certain daughters lay aside their feelings for others so readily ... I worry about the stuffing that is happening and am positive one day it will surely BLOW ... the friends won't know what hit them! me being me is wanting the blow to happen .. I want her to be true to her feelings and stand up for herself.... it's so hard. So I encourage, I keep speaking truths to them, keep reinforcing what I know, I admit I meddle too, I get angry sometimes, I guess I should be quiet when I am not... and at the end of the day I have to stand back and watch and be here for them when they hurt and finally come to me.
I think some of their friends involved in the latest drama are surprised I am so vocal about things and so protective of the girls ... I don't get that! but nonetheless I will protect my girls over the friends no matter what! even when the girls do wrong, I am on their side...not condoning what they did that was wrong but I got their back 100%. We were watching Meet the Goldbergs the other day ... ok I LOVE that show!! anyone growing up in the 80's will totally appreciate it! and the mom had on her " mom goggles " in her eyes her kids could do no wrong and everything they did was amazing .. I mean not everything but when other people thought they had no talent she did .. she said "while they are under my roof it is my job to make sure they are told they are wonderful and they can do anything cuz when they are no longer under my roof the world is full of people who are going to tell them they can't" ... I get that! now while I don't want to have blinders on I think it is our job to encourage and build them up while they are home .. teaching them how to fail safely, teaching them that when they fall they can pick themselves back up!
I am surrounded by girls girls girls ... I love it but man sometimes it is so very very hard!