a lesson learned
In my 38 years I have learned many lessons... don't talk back to your teachers it just gets you the strap :) yup I went to the church basement I don't know how I know how to read school where the strap was given and then a spanking followed at home later that same day! ....don't steal candy from the check outs or your mom will march you right back in and make you confess... don't fight with your sisters... ok I didn't learn that one until WAY later and sometimes we still can get into tiff's! but I have learned to apologize and not hold a grudge! ... I have learned to pick my battles with my kids.. ok I need to find better examples I am still learning this one :)
anyways the point is I can look back on my life and see that I have indeed learned some very valuable life lessons. I am not the same person I was 30 years ago or even 3 years ago! and I am forever changing and learning... this I get is a lifetime event!
today I sat in a situation that I am not at liberty to discuss, only to say that it was work related, and I witnessed what anger and holding on to resentment can do to a person. I amazingly stayed calm... that was a miracle cuz I was a bit of a nerve bundle before hand... I was able to talk calmly and reasonably... my HR Hotel days mediating with the union and management is a gift I still possess... I was able to negotiate which was another miracle... and I was able to watch what can only be the result of anger and resentment and bitterness that has not been resolved, can do to a human being.
I have had reason to take others to court... there have been times when all I have wanted to do was "nail them to the wall" ... actions against me that are absurd and unfounded that have hurt to the core that I have decided time and time again to let fall to the wayside all due to the fact that I didn't want the stress... didn't want the anger.. didn't want the drama and sleepless nights. Now, I am not saying there isn't a time and place for court and action, not saying that at all... but for me and the issues I have been faced with, the decision to let it go... to let time take it's course and know that I am not the ultimate judge! for me I think the conscious decision I made led me to meeting Paul.. to find healing and peace within my life. The alternative would be being the shaking angry full of bitterness person I sat beside today.. and I so don't want to ever be that person! EVER!! so... lesson learned.... again!!