Last week I made a bit of a discovery...since I don't believe in accidents I know I was meant to find what I found... I will not go into details here or anywhere about it, that's not the point, the point is I discovered I need to take a WAY more aggressive stand in my daughters lives.
For me raising my girls in today's society is a challenge... my parents never had to worry about messages on a cell phone/facebook/instagram/snapchat/tumblr (I am sure there are more I am not aware of!) I would have rather died then have them read! we passed notes in school!! but we knew the person we were sending and receiving with! today... today it's a WHOLE other story! and it's scary! one of the problems is that kids feel fearless...much like I did! but I wasn't vulnerable to the entire world! just my little community!... there is something in kids that makes them feel untouchable, invincible and even immortal to a degree! at least that is the way I felt growing up...until when I was 16 a friend of mine died in a plane crash, he was 18 (Trinity Western University Plane Crash in 90/91). I suddenly was faced with the reality that we don't live forever! It changed my perspective. I hope someone doesn't have to die for my girls perspectives to change and I can't afford to wait for something to happen to change it...that was my big discovery... I have to do whatever it takes to change it!
This is where the saying "it takes a village to raise children" comes in...but what has our village become? It's not mearly a community that molds and fashions our children...it's not just the magazine covers that influences our daughters body image! it's an entire huge world that just keeps getting smaller. Today I read that Victoria Secret is launching a new line to pre-teen and young girls...undies with the words "call me" written on it! um yah I will be boycotting VS from now on! that is so disgusting! what are we allowing? how far down the immoral path has our world become? why are we not protecting our children's innocence? why haven't I protected my girls better? I have to start taking a stand! and I so wish I had been more vigilant.
I have to admit when it comes to body image I am not a great teacher. I have always struggled with my body, always! as the youngest girl in my family and sisters who boasted size 0-3 my size 8/9 as a teen didn't feel so great...and now what I wouldnt do to be that size again?! women burned their bra's and found their strength and somewhere after that we started being infiltrated by a belief that skinny is best and as media started playing a bigger and bigger part in our lives we started dieting and purging and puking and doing surgeries to alter our bodies to try to achieve the ultimate image. We thought we found ourselves but so many more were about to lose themselves and the consequent generations were to have more pressures than we were meant to face, not in my humble opinion. It's so sad to me and yet I catch myself saying so often, in front of my girls "I am so fat, I hate my body".
I need to reprogram my mouth as much as I need to train theirs!
So in part of making my stand.... facebook passwords had to passed to me and their dad or shut down... 2 girls have decided to shut it down and 1 passed on the password...I cannot control everything but I can let them know that unlike popular belief they are not entitled to a "private" life at their age! there is a difference between respecting their privacy and not being aware of what your children are being exposed too...I am trying to find that boundary now.
We are trying to figure this all out. What I do know is that the electronics are taking over and I am guilty of the same.. my cell is on my person 24/7, but in order to make a stand I have to be willing to participate in "unplugging". We are going to attempt to shut off electronic devices at a certain time of night...I am opening up a night of the week for them to invite their friends over, as many as they like, for pasta dinner and games or whatever they want to do, as long as it involves people, real, life, people. Paul fixed the bikes and we dusted off the running/walking shoes... time to unplug a little more, or a lot more hopefully, and socialize with people, face to face! I would love to do community dinners, we did a lot when the girls were small and I know that so many are so busy these days, thats another note coming cuz I think that is part of the problem!, so if any of you reading this wants to have us over for a shared dinner :) or to come to our house for one.. let me know! the doors are open(ing) and the devices are closing .. I HOPE!