being me

ok so I have so missed blogging... and yet... I haven't! I have been adjusting to being married, being pulled by the constant and growing demand that is the life of raising these girls of mine :) and by work and house and all that is in between! It's been exhausting! I have started taking my vitamins regularly and I have to say... it's helping! I was too tired there for awhile and NO I am NOT pregnant!
I wrote a note about it on facebook... the need to be heard and the fact that I have been watched by those that read untruths into what I say.. it became a thing that I just couldn't be bothered with especially with everything else going on in my life (mentioned above). So the longer I have been "quiet" the bigger this weird unsettling in me has been growing... this need to be heard! then I received a message from a friend so out of the blue .. the message read " thought I would drop in and say "hi" i've been busy with working at the transition house and going to school full time.. usually the only way I feel connected to others is through facebook (sad I know). I wanted to tell you how much I respect and appreciate your honesty about personal issues in your life. I love reading your blogs! You truly have a gift to write, your ability to write openly and honestly seems to flow effortlessly. Lately I have been quite withdrawn; due to active depression.. just getting through some days seems almost an impossible task. Anyways today is a good day. Congratulations on your marriage I have enjoyed watching your romance play out via blog posts and pictures on facebook, actually one of my favourite photos of you is your profile picture-whoever snapped that shot captured your personality perfectly. Bless you, I pray you and your husband will one day be blessed with all your hearts desires. :) "
WOW!! 
Just when I was thinking I should just put my need to blab as some say! haha, to bed.. I get this message! and something in me is responding! I don't believe in accidents and this message from a friend was more timely then she knew! 
So now to share my life in a respectful way.. not that I wasn't respectful before but some feel it wasn't...mind you the people who look for something will find something even when it isn't there! I cannot control that. I don't want to let the hand that has been held over my mouth (or my hands) to continue to stay there!
This is who I am! I have been learning to be me in every way! My amazing husband is being an amazing teacher at letting me be me.. to embrace who I am and how I was created! 
For whatever reason I have the need to be heard... and so here I am ... laying my life out for others to read (please know that while I am "open" I don't share everything!!). My struggles, my challenges, my joys and accomplishments... my journey! I love that anything I say can bring a smile to someones face, or a little lift in their step, or the knowledge that they are not alone in their journey. That, I believe is ONE of my purposes here on this earth! To let others know they are not alone! To be real and honest and share my crazy life.
This is me being me! for some reason... I just can't help myself! 
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