It seems as far back as I can remember having women issues is no picnic! :) I say that with tongue in cheek I mean really us women are the super hero's of the mankind race. What we go through in our bodies and what our bodies create and what we are capable of.. is amazing! then add the amount of times we have to be examined and exposed!! well... I think we are pretty freaking amazing!!
So it would seem that I have Uterus polyps ... and I am scheduled for surgery in 2 weeks... this is fast for Canadian health care standards as I have the best OB/GYN ever and I am serious enough to not have to wait months and months for a surgery time. On one hand I feel very blessed and on the other hand I feel overwhelmed at waiting 2 whole weeks feeling the way I do. I have started a regime of iron supplements and the Dr has me on a hormone supplement as well.. I guess it takes a while to kick in cuz I am super tired and weak and just want to sleep sleep sleep... but alas I have a business or 2 to run, 4 daughters to manage and a household and yah well the bills don't pay themselves! so I keep going as much as I can but running on about 30% energy levels as normal... NOT FUN. I think the hormones are working cuz all I want to do now is cry :) I am also feeling dizzy and light-headed... all effects of the symptoms of the polyps.
I was talking last night to my bf.. yes I have a boyfriend! more on that later :) and we were discussing the balance of working hard to provide what I have to provide and being able to enjoy my life and my girls, as they are growing up way way too fast, and if that is even possible right now?! I think ALL mom's ask themselves that questions... where is the balance?, what is the balance? and sometimes is even having a balance at all possible?! the one side of the fact scale is .... I am a single mom to 4 girls... even if I wasn't single being a mom to 4 girls is a LOT! ... and children grow so fast and it seems that in this day and age even faster then we did and I am sure our parents and grandparents would say the same thing of us.. we have a wild and free generation to contend with but that again is another post for another day. Time is slipping through my fingers and my babies are becoming women and before I know it.. they will be all on their own independent ways...... the other side of the fact scale is I am the only provider at the time for my children, (their dad is ill and unable to work at this time) I have to work and I have to work a lot to provide. Today's bills are increasing in not only fees but also in taxes and it's absurd how much fuel is! then add how quickly my girls are outgrowing their shoes!! my 13 year old has size 11 feet, my 12 year old has size 9.5 feet and my 10 year old has size 10.5 feet!!! one more size up from an 11 and I have to order shoes on line and that is not cheap! plus groceries (my girls are NOT small eaters), school supplies, clothing, sports, music (it's mandatory in grade 7 and it is NOT covered by the school so we have to rent an instrument at our own cost and you cannot write it off on your taxes...Emily's was $600 last year and now I have to do it again this year for Hailey).. it all adds up... then add to the fact that the economy is not so hot and I am trying to do things as efficiently at work as possible... that usually means I do it myself.
so blah blah blah whine whine whine these are the facts, it is what it is and I can do nothing to change it....
so is there a balance in there somewhere? is it possible to work smarter and not harder without affecting the business budget? is it possible that as my girls become women they won't resent how much time I spend working and will actually understand or will they forever look back and think my mom worked too much and I resent her for it?
are you a working outside the home mom or single mom? how do you find balance or are you in the same position as I am?