pieces of peace

Every now and then in this crazy journey of life I get moments of feeling incredible peace even though I feel as though I am in pieces... I think that is life... at least it's my life.

This weekend a peace that really does pass my understanding has fallen over me... from the classes that I am taking I can recognize it as being in the place where I have hit the wall of futility and realized I cannot change the impossible and have come to a place of acceptance. Realizing where I am standing brings me a sense of peace as well. Understanding where I am helps :) So I am able to let go and move forward and there is a sense of peace in that. This does not mean that there are not moments when my heart threatens to start beating out of my chest and I have to remind myself where I am and why...but it passes faster and faster and I am able to get the clarity that I need to move on.

Last night I worked my shift at the restaurant with a peace that felt like joy and it was a great shift! my customers responded to my state of mind...what a difference it makes going to work with that attitude!

This morning I got up...handled the girls morning routine of ummmmm grouchy one upmanship :) and went to the school and did spelling with Faith's class....she is a really good speller but is still getting her "d" and "b" mixed up... she loved that I was there and I will be helping Monday mornings as much as I can.... I love that!

Yesterday a friend came over and helped me assemble the 2 dressers that I bought like over 2 months ago :) and then fed my kids dinner while I worked... I did have his kids all weekend so it was a good trade off!

Life moves forward with all the twists and turns and ups and downs... not much I can do about that but I am confident that I am more than ok. I have a full life with amazing daughters and great friends and a supportive loving family. I don't need anyone to make me happy or to fill me up. I have discovered in myself and my community pieces of peace and that is a good feeling. I can survive this and even better than that.... I am coming out better, wiser, more loving and accepting, less judgemental, changed for the better.... it's a new chapter in my life! .... I am even looking into taking the girls on a short term missions trip to Kenya!!! now wouldn't that be exciting?!


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