a divine appointment

I mentioned that it was feeling like the last minute when Morgan and I have had to find her a new Grad prom dress.. it felt like last minute anyway .. so we planned and decided to go down to David's Bridal just across the border on Saturday morning and hopefully find the perfect dress.

We got up early went to McD's for a greasy and yet yummy breakfast, sausage mcmuffins are our favorite!! and we were on our way... slight wait, 1 hour, at the border crossing which gave us lots of time to sing Hallelujah over and over :) and my favorite radio station Jack FM was playing a great song list .... so we were rocking it out! Just the 2 of us momma and daughter sing song time:)

I managed to find the store...only had to stop and ask once! and we found a lot of dresses that she wanted to try on. Ballroom style, long and a little poofy and girly girl which really is not quite the usual way Morgan has always dressed. She wants to look like a princess.

The first dress she tried on was a silver strapless dress with lots of beading and sparkle on the bodess.. the look on her face when we zipped it up and she saw her reflection is something I will never forget. A huge smile spread across her face and it was so obvious this was her dress. It fit her like a glove and matches the silver shoes she had already bought to go with the dress she had planned to borrow. (my daughter is actually quite practical and couldn't fathom spending a lot on something she would wear once) She tried the other dresses on and while some were great nothing came close to the silver dress or the feeling she felt when she had it on.

Bonus factor... it was 50% off!! the dress came to $113 with tax! I couldn't have been more pleased as I had planned to buy her her dress all along.

Double bonus factor .. we got to experience something I had been looking forward too since she started school... shopping for her grad prom dress together... a mother daughter memory that I am thrilled we now have! the dress needs NO alterations, goes with her already purchased shoes and looks better then the borrowed dress she had before... it is stunning.. she will truly look like a princess! :)

Triple bonus factor ... we had the BEST conversations there and back... she was able to ask me some questions on things/events that had been on her mind and I was able to answer honestly and I can hardly even describe the joy I felt that we were having the conversation. It was like all walls and filters were removed and we were able to talk right to each others hearts. The knowledge that it was a divine appointment was clear, from finding the right dress for an amazing price to sharing the experience together to having conversations that were timely and amazing. As I was sharing with her and answering questions it was like I was receiving all sorts of revelations at the same time for myself.

She asked me questions about her bio-dad and how we met and what happened.. and I was able to share and at the same time glean understanding for myself and see how things in my present have been triggered by my past. I saw connections to things I didn't fully realize before. Clarity filled me as I walked down memory lane and not a pleasant memory lane but the beautiful thing about forgiveness and redemption is that the memories don't own me or control me any longer. Standing in a place of true forgiveness for myself and those that hurt me in those circumstances allows a renewed perspective that brought understanding to my daughter who was the bi-product of a disastrous and painful time in my life. It brought a renewed understanding to me of who I was before the incident and who I became afterwards to who I am today.

It's not a coincidence that as I grow in confidence, something I never struggled with before I was 19, that that is the area I am the most attacked in. I lost my confidence in my journey, through  many different circumstances and it started to come back slowly and in 2010 and when I shaved my head bald for my best friends family & daughter it was like receiving a gift of confidence that I forgot was mine all along. It is my true self to be confident and yet I have made many decisions that are the opposite of that. I made dreadful mistakes when I lost that confidence, when I lost my true self, and now I am firmly on the road to being who I was born to be and it's a great feeling.

I know I will still stumble and make mistakes but returning to who I am meant to be and being able to share that with my daughter and knowing she was receiving it.. it was amazing.

It was a great day together and a total divine appointment!

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