so many lessons

 the difference in these 2 pictures are amazing to me! wow!! from a sad introspective picture of me below taken in the summer of 2010 to a year later of a woman stepping in to herself in the summer of 2011. It's more then just the hair color. It's in the eyes.
This week has been another huge week of learning for me. My 2 classes that I am taking are continuing to help me along my way. A few of the points that stood out for me are the following :

the basic definition of singleness is to be separate, unique and whole.... the scripture verse "God did not intend for man to be alone" is used over and over to justify man being with man and the inability to be alone....but alone and single are 2 different things. There are times when the house is FULL of FULL and with my social crew there are usually extras at my house a lot....and yet I have felt all alone. Alone in my sadness or just alone and that is sad in itself. Being single when you look at the basic definition is something to strive for not run from. We look to others to complete us to make us whole.....and unless we have that in ourselves we are NOT going to find that in someone else. It's not until we understand who we are in our singleness...being separate, unique and whole, that we will be able to be in a healthy relationship...2 adding to each other being who they are individually.... together. I love this. I love the realization that I am working on being single and embracing my singleness so that when the time is right I will be fully unique separate and whole and in that place, that healthy place, a good healthy relationship will find me. It's something worth striving towards. Jumping into a relationship before this process is complete would prove to be a disaster and that has been proven!

I heard a saying at my Tuesdays night class..... the things/situations in this life that you cannot change have been put into your life to change you.... I almost fell off my chair. Takes a new twist to the saying what doesn't break you makes you stronger which has always had a negative spin to it for me. But to grasp the concept that what you cannot change is meant to change you... it's like a level of freedom in that for me. It's like being able to let go of so much frustration with the things that I cannot change that I have soooo desired to be able to do. I cannot change some things... so I will let them change me! it's like Beauty from Ashes mentality coming to reality for me.

Did you know that when you cry the tears from a place of hitting the wall of futility, the realization that you cannot change the situation/circumstances that you find yourself in, the tears actually contain toxins?! the deep cries of your heart from pain and frustration and being at the end of what you can do to change the circumstances is actually a release of toxins from your body!! that is amazing. Proof that a good cry really is healthy for your body and soul!

We learned that we have lost in our culture the ability to let our children cry.... to grieve their disappointments in life...suck it up buttercup syndrome at it's finest. The lesson "I'll give you something to cry about"...not such a healthy lesson! tears are necessary and vital in the process of releasing frustrations which are core primitive emotions and lead to aggression when not dealt with week we go into this subject more and I can't wait!! its so  so so so good!! I have information on this course which is being offered again in April if anyone is interested.

So much information to grasp retain and process...all this on top of a stupid crazy schedule that is leaving me a little empty of energy and I am fighting being sick at this point, and that's a whole other blog post... the count down to our holiday is totally ON!! I cannot wait!! so ready for some R&R with my girlies. I am pretty sure that 7 of us in 1 motorhome for 2 weeks will be plenty of opportunity to put some of the lessons I have learned into practice :)


So good! I love to walk with you in this journey. Ups and downs, it's all great! Keep it up and when you. One through Olympia, let's meet okay. Love ya, Marilyn

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