18...the perfect age?!

I so loved my time off with my girls and parents...we saw SO much and did SO much in such a short time! it was a go go go kind of holiday.... but it was good...had a couple of moments :) .... but it was a great memory building time away together.... then its back to work and reality and there is always a little chaos after you leave work and little fires to put out here and there and just getting back into the swing of things takes a little more effort. This has been my week. It also was my oldest Baby's birthday this week and that is a little surreal to say the least. 18 years old! it's crazy how time flies... She is graduating high school this year and is not sure what she wants to do yet but thats ok she has loads of time...who says you have to know what you want to be for the rest of your life at the tender age of 18???!! like I am pretty sure their brains are not fully wired at 18!!!

18 years old was my favorite age! it's how old I still want to feel inside haha and sometimes I do still feel 18 until my body reminds me I am NOT! but at 18 I was working full time lived on my own with a friend for awhile.. had my own car....felt like an adult and had a blast! no real big responsibilities no real big pressures.... it was great! There are so many times when I am sad that I think back to that year and smile to myself as I recall the fun I had and the carefree worry free attitude I had! I had NO idea that not soon after my 19th birthday my world would turn upside down and I would have to re-figure out my plans and future.

I grew up a lot in a short time when Morgan entered my life! I fell instantly in love with my blond hair blue eyed baby girl... her eyes are now this amazing green color with yellow specks...never seen eye color like hers before! she was a colic baby and cried from 5 pm to 3 am for 6 straight weeks... I thought I would never survive it! After that she was pretty much the perfect baby.. she was so funny and a delight... smart and creative!! curious and brave... she had her terrible 2's...danced to Shania Twain...she actually used to call my oldest Sister Shania cuz they look alike! she came everywhere with me and I loved singing her to sleep every single night....until her sister arrived and then she had to adjust quickly like older siblings do! but she loved being a big sister and although they drive her up the wall now she is very protective over them and worries like a mother hen over them.

Now I get to observe her approach the world as an "adult".. no longer a child as she frequently states the Gov't recognizes her as an adult and now so must I! :) did I mention it's a little surreal?! the simple fact is she is stretching her big girl legs and I have to let go a little more all the time and let her be who she is determined to be. I love that I am taking these Dr Neufeld classes/workshops and I so wish I had when she was little but it's always better late then never and I can see how I can apply some of what I have learned with her and do my best to help her be the most successful her she can be.

She has experienced a lot of unnecessary rejection in her short 18 years and I can see the tole it has had on her young heart. She holds it all pretty closely and she wears her emotions quite openly, ok thats an understatement :) ... it's hard to see her struggle with that. I wish I could just make it all better and easy for her. I so wish I could make all things easier for her and all the girls. It breaks my heart what they have gone through. I love how close we are .... even though we all have our moments... we are close! I love that.

We had a little party for her last night and she loved her Big Bang Theory cake!!! and had a great time with her friends...she has great friends! this is a huge relief too! I love watching her laugh and having fun... the woman/child emerging into all woman! it's a great thing to see! She has a boyfriend right now and thats a whole other blog post!!! haha seriously so far he is a nice kid and I like him.... kind of scary territory but she is 18 and I have to trust and keep guiding her along that bumpy road, try to not sweat the small stuff and just enjoy everyday cuz after all... 18 years goes by just that fast!!!

No comments: