Mean Girls

It sadly seems like part of a girls right of passage to have an incident or 2 with "mean" girls.... grade 6 girls in my experience seem to be the worse year for mean girls... it seems to be the year the extra load of hormones kick in and girls grow scales and a witches tongue...ok maybe not that extreme :) but they do turn a little evil! I am a mom who has had 3 girls in grade 6 with 1 more to go I do know something of which I speak.

My oldest had a terrible experience in grade 6 and was one of the reasons we decided to move up North and give her a bit of a fresh start. She had a worse repeat of mean girls in grade 10 and man did that leave a mark...or 4.

Please know that as I write this and am said mother of 4 girls... I know my own girls can be "mean" girls and in fact I live with them practicing regularly on each other and I even get thrown into the target range of the mean girl pleasantness. It's a wonderful thing yah uh hem... anyways not saying my girls don't get caught up in it cuz they do.

My 3rd has had troubles since K...so so far in grade 6 she has seemed to work out most of the mean girl kinks and has had a relatively sane year! and for her this is even more incredible! she does have friend issues but she hasn't come across the back stabbing gossip spreading hurtful vengeful tactics of a full on mean girl showdown.

This week my 2nd in grade 7.... my most gentle soft daughter... has experienced full on mean girl behaviour. She has never struggled with friends beyond the regular tift or 2... she is a stable person and isn't normally on the receiving end of typical girl crapola. The tears last night were truly heart breaking as she poured out her hearts hurt by girls turning on her for reasons she just couldn't seem to understand...total disclaimer here...it doesn't mean she didn't DO anything wrong she just didn't perceive their fierce reactions to her... I was heart broken for her. She didn't even want to go to school today and that is SO not like her.... this morning I told the girls in times like this is when you STICK together as sisters as that relationship trumps everything. Apparently my youngest approached the "mean" girls and said she would punch them out if she heard they were mean to her sister again....I do NOT condone violence...but I couldn't help but smile to myself and had to tell her to NOT do that as it is something I think she would actually be capable of! Hailey stood up for her as well....I was pleased...sisters need to stick together when the poop hits the fan.

I think that fundamentally this is the great divide for a lack of a better term. Girls are friends with so many classmates in elementary school and by the time high school arrives they have pretty much fit themselves into a group....you know the stereotypical groups of preps skaters jocks nerds...well that is what they were called when I was in high school I am informed by my girls that they are not called that anymore and " those names are SO uncool mom!!" the girls will fit into their own particular group and some girls that they are close with now might not be in their group later. It happens. So hard on girls but part of the development that must be normal as it seems to happen every generation!


As a mom of 4 girls I know that they are going to go through all the crap that girls go through....from fighting over boys to mean girls...there is no way to stop it... just have to love them through it...listen and encourage and teach them to take the high road! that's not a fun lesson to learn but they will run into mean girls their entire lives. Lessons are lessons even when they break your heart.

1 comment:

Shasher's Life said...

I laughed out loud when I read the part about Foo threatening to beat them up! I could totally see it. :)

I'm thankful that I have mostly boys and Em's hasn't had to experience this yet. She's still living in the land of unicorns and kitty cats.