being a momma

I soooooo feel like I AM this woman somedays..... ok MOST days!!

What is it like to be raising 4 of my staff asked me tonight....that's a loaded question! it's's's's's's wonderful,'s's's unlike most things you will ever experience in your life.

How can you be prepared for motherhood and parenting.... they asked after.... um you can't! I mean there are books and more books and then some more books....but reading it...hearing about it...thinking about it...and actually LIVING it out...soooooo different! then each child from the next is a completely new person with their own set of rules that you get to figure out as you go! always changing always shifting and always unexpected! that is how I would describe parenting and being a being a single momma is different on top of all that... I get to be IT... the one stop shop of parenthood all wrapped up into a dark circle under the eyes so tired there is never enough sleep just keep going cuz no one is going to take your place if you collapse kind of life!...BUT there are also the karaoke singing our hearts out....laughing as we shop or do whatever it is we actually do!....the fun we have....the moments that will be impressed forever in our memory banks....I love being a mom. I was born to be a mom!

Life really is about the experience...the constant ebb of change that is always happening and our ability to move and shift with it...thats what our story is all about. Fight or flight. When life throws you curve balls....and it will....can you change and adapt with it or do you stay the same in a situation that demands change? Can you rise above it all? Can you look pain in the face deal with it and find the joy that is within you? Can you love despite being rejected? Can you trust when you have been abandoned? I think everyone has experienced pain rejection and abandonment in their lives to one degree to another.....and if you haven't yet you will....not a sadistic mindset just reality as I know it. What you do with those times and moments is different then being a momma...each child is different with their own sets of challenges...being a mom hurts sometimes... I have to say that being hurt by your child is a pain compared to little hurts! but you can't reject back...even when you want too.... you can't walk away.... you deal with it head out of love....and keep striving to be the best mom you can and love the child no matter what.... much like most life situations..... now if only I can walk out what my head knows to be true!!


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