the good the bad the ugly
We pressed on.
We started healing.
I know we still have so many areas that are still in need of healing and some areas that are healed and I have to say even better than ever. That's what happens when you let light in! it transforms and changes and takes away the ugly and replaces it with something so much more beautiful...if you allow it of course.
This process has brought up areas that I know I have left untouched for a lack of a better term as I have been in survival mode than I care to admit. I now am dealing with them....it's harsh and it's brutal hard and yet I know that I HAVE to deal with them. They cannot be ignored any longer. Tough love is not something that comes naturally to me... I am learning. Behaviours that were tolerated cannot be tolerated any longer and again...this is hard for me...but I am pressing on...growing...healing...and so are my girls.
I am finding my backbone! I like it and yet I admit it scares me at the same time as it is so new for me. but I press on..
Along the way of finding myself and letting go and growing and all that this year has been for me.... I have found some unbelievable joy moments...I am learning to trust... I am learning who I am and liking it.. I am learning my worth and value and when I was least expecting it I found some reinforcement in those enforcements.... it's pretty amazing and daunting and yadda yadda yadda... you get the picture.
So I still face some difficult times as I finish...with help!... the last of the mess that was created... I am learning tough love and repairing behaviours that are long over due being dealt with...I also am facing joy, amazing new memories, a whole new strength, confidence...just to name a few.....the phrase beauty for ashes seems to be alive in my life.