my baby

 My very last miracle baby is named very appropriately... Faith! She was the last pregnancy after years of miscarriages and my other 3 miracles, Morgan, Emily and Hailey. I fought very hard to have my babies and Faith was no exception. I was in and out of the hospital more times with her pregnancy then the others combined...and that's a lot! I didn't have easy pregnancies in any way shape or form. To say by the time she was born I was emotionally exhausted and physically drained is an understatement. Today I am happy to say that I finally lost the weight that I had gained with my last baby. I gained a LOT with her.... and that is NO exaggeration! Weight gain was the last of the Dr's worry with that pregnancy..just keeping her alive and inside as long as possible was all they were concerned with. It was a LONG draining 8.5 months. Needless to say when she was finally born, alive AND healthy.... I couldn't have been more thrilled!

I couldn't imagine my life without this completion of our family.

Faith was an easy baby! like so easy! the other girls had all had colic but not my little Faith. She was content to sit in her swing and watch the constant chaos pass her the youngest of 4 girls and the youngest 3 only 3 years apart from the 2nd to 4th... I have to say there was a LOT of chaos. She was easily entertained and loved her sisters from the get-go. I loved just sitting with her and letting the house fall apart come what may cuz I held my very last miracle baby in my and sound!

As Faith grew we didn't mind that she didn't crawl....she just liked to sit and chat with her very own little language that we thought was completely adorable. By a year she was still not crawling and not really attempting to walk at all either...I had told my family Dr but he didn't seem to concerned as she was the baby and lots of big sisters to get her her every whim, never mind a doting momma! She finally started "crawling" at just over a year....she had this funny little scoot she did by pushing herself with her right leg and left arm....she actually did it for so long that she ended up over developing the muscles in her right leg and left arm that was easily physically visible. She had specialist appointments, xrays and ultrasounds to determine if her bones were growing unevenly as well. Turns out she was just doing the over development of certain muscles while the rest were not as well used. Not to worry the Dr's said...she would out grow it. When she finally started walking she had a noticeable wobbly gait to her made for a clumsy very tall for her age baby. Well actually she was not a baby at this point... she didn't start walking until she was 17 months old!

Her little language she had was so cute and adorable and for the most part I understood her.... her dad not so much but her sisters and I could pretty much figure out what she was wanting/saying. For instance she called movies "moomoos" and Morgan was "mornin" and yogurt was "lodirt"... I had to have her show me what she meant when she asked me for lodirt to figure out that one! but I always figured her out. To add to her own language she also spoke quite low and monotone. Again with a now full time stay at home momma of 4 girls and running to the school 3 times a day as I had 2 years back to back half day kindergarten (em and hailey are 15 months apart and 1 year apart in school) ... I was busy and didn't think there was really any problem. I babied my baby.

Speed forward to moving to Prince George and Faith attending pre-school... I noticed she didn't really play WITH the other kids but watched them and played on her own....the other kids didn't really understand her. Her speech was definitely not something I could totally ignore anymore but thought well she will outgrow it.

In Kindergarten her teacher was literally appalled at me for not having her hearing checked as she was pretty sure that was the issue and told me .... the other kids cannot understand her and that isolates her.... ouch.

We moved before she started grade 1 back down to the Coast and her teacher noticed that she indeed had some learning challenges and was surprised when I told her yes she has had her hearing checked twice! and she does not have a hearing problem. Her academic skills were lacking, her communication hard to figure and she was developing some pretty amazing coping skills. There were definitely other things at factor with her and couldn't simply be ignored. Now add to the fact that my husband had a chronic plate was a little full.

Her school had her see the Speech Pathologist and she began testing on my baby. She quickly discovered and labeled Faith with Audio Processing Disorder.. it was a little surreal considering all the other things I felt I was carrying at the time but it was good to have some answers for my precious baby. We also had finally gotten her tonsils and adenoids out which we were all sure were contributing to her speech and chronic sickness/infections. Then we moved schools...again :( ... and she has somehow fallen through most of the cracks in a flawed system and a momma who has gone from crisis to crisis.... to say I feel and have felt guilt to not being the proactive momma to my babies needs is obvious.

Today Faith is in grade 4... it's a big year.. a big jump from the primary into the intermediate and she struggles. She struggles with learning, with processing information, with grasping simple concepts that most of us take for granted. She has had Learning Assistance from time to time but her amazing ... literally the human brain is astounding with how it learns to adapt... coping skills pulls her up with "normal" range so she gets dropped and just as quickly falls back into recognizable needing more LA time. Her coping skills are starting to be a hindrance in that it is really hard to tell what she pretends to know and what she does. She knows she is not where she should be. She knows she learns different but what she does know we don't really know yet! confusing!! There is a great probability that she also has a form of dyslexia... it runs quite strong in my family and is common with the APD. The fact that she is missing some concepts such as time....she literally has no grasp on what time is in any sense... is a clue that her brain processes differently, that there are learning challenges present.

I have talked to her teacher recently and we are hoping to finish having her diagnosis to help aid her learn what she needs to learn to be successful in life. To give her teachers clues and understanding in how Faith learns and how to help her be the best HER she can be.

It's a long process and as I have been overwhelmed with the chaos and crisis I have to keep reminding myself that she has a Heavenly Father that loves her even more than I do and He is keeping her in His hands. I have to trust that He is guiding me and her teachers and we will get her the best help and understanding we can.


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