darts and feathers

I woke up this morning.. after a very rough night of tossing and turning and from having cried myself to sleep yet again... not saying this for sympathy, it is just is what it is. I woke up wondering why, over the years/last 6 months, I held on to the negative things that were said instead of the positive? This is what I saw in my head

Negative words, comments, name calling are like darts... they are quick precise and go in deep to it's target... once you have had practice throwing darts.... you don't usually miss. They make you bleed and the ones thrown the hardest...well sometimes they are hard to pull out, they really stick in.  We all throw them.....we all receive them...

Positive words, words of affirmation, praise, encouragement, words of love and thoughtfulness..... they are like feathers...they are soft, feel good to the touch, gentle and non threatening in any way.. We give them to each other, we receive them from others....

In my life.... I have been thrown darts and handed feathers... I have thrown darts and given feathers.... I see here at the bottom of me...that even though the darts hurt..like BAD...I held on to them... I focused all my energy on the darts and the pain they caused... I think in some instances I even held on to ones and didn't allow the wound the dart had created to heal. That action caused me to not feel the feathers, not see that they were amazing and some were big and beautiful and ones were unique and rare and I had longed to be given such an amazing feather. The pain out-sensed the love.

Going forward I wonder how possible it is to be mindful in the midst of a situation where darts are being thrown....to gather the feathers and as corny as this may sound but build a pillow out of the feathers and choose to lay your head on it...let that be what supports you, what holds you up, what comforts you.... instead of holding the darts in and allowing everyone to see the pain you were caused....SIDE NOTE....sharing your pain with others is not a bad thing please don't think I am saying don't share...just use wisdom in sharing and WHY you are sharing!.... I am also not saying stand there and take the darts!!! there comes a time when repeated behaviors/dart throwing have to stop, I am not saying just ignore the pain either... I am just wondering out loud...if there is a more graceful way to live? To be able to see the whole picture clearly to be able to walk in this life holding on to the feathers and not the darts. To be able to see whether you are about to throw a dart when you could be handing a feather.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

In my experience the people throwing the darts are the ones with the problems. What they accuse you of is the very thing that is destroying them. I think this is to make them feel better about themselves by attacking another.

I know the darts hurt but dont let them bleed you to death. If the dart is constructive use it better yourself if it was just meant to hurt give it back (ignore it) and move on. You can do it you're strong.

take the blessings and complements and build on the positive energy.

I hope the "pillow"you build will give you rest and peace, you deserve it.