Last night I made a last decision to run out to church, my youngest 2 wanted to go with me but Faith was the only one who got ready fast enough. We started out by listening to the Glee Season 1 CD and she asked me if I could take her to a singing contest...so I told her that I actually have a number of an agent for her and think acting is more her thing. She is nothing if not a diva! Born for greatness, as I believe all 4 of my girls are, this one has acting boiling in her blood. She then leaned over turned the music off and we started an hour long talk of some pretty amazing stuff!
and yes you read right...an hour drive 1 way to my church, but it's worth it :)
and yes she talked pretty much the whole way, she is MY daughter after all!
Sometimes it is hard, ok a lot of times it is hard to get some quality 1 on 1 time with my girls, especially with the schedule that I try to keep (which will be changing promptly but that's another post).
We talked about Faiths speech and I was able to ask her a lot of deep/personal questions and the atmosphere was so safe and peaceful that she shared some hard feelings with me. Yes she knows she talks different than others, sometimes it bothers her but mostly not at least not any more. She knows she is the biggest kid in her class, the girl will probably be a min of 6 feet tall is 8 years old with size 8 ladies feet!. She told me how she was playing a chasing game at school and a little boy told her he wasn't chasing her cuz she is so much bigger it would be like hitting a wall.....ouch....that hurt her. She said in a quiet voice..... that made me sad. We talked about how God made her body bigger and naturally her body wants to be bigger so she has to make extra healthy choices. That is such a touchy subject but I was saying things simply and gently and asking her after everything I said, does that make you feel special, or sad, do you understand? she was totally understanding. I told her how I thought when she got lost up North for the 2 hours in winter and afterwards she was more afraid to go play outside and mommy and daddy were just as happy to let her stay in and watch TV that that made her body a little bigger without all the outdoor exercise a little body needs. She thought for a moment then nodded her head and said...that makes sense.... sometimes my little 8 year old thinks like an 80 year old!
She told me that she felt a little sad about the clothes that I just bought her, she said they looked so big and she thought they wouldn't fit her but then she tried them on and they were too small. I couldn't help but think of the movie Spanglish and the mom buying clothes a size too small on purpose... I totally did NOT do that and thought the clothes would fit but I can't help but think the same feeling is impressed in the child. My heart sank for her. In the end though I think she felt happy and had some understanding that her body just wants to be bigger and together we can make healthy choices and exercise (go for walks and take swimming lessons).
Then we started talking about other things and she told me " you know what I imagine when I think of God?" I said no, she said "when I imagine God I see Alf"....Alf is our pastor....we had to tell him that last night he was tickled...pretty cute!!
We just had such a great intimate time together and let me tell you it was a far cry from what we had last week with her telling me I am the worse mother in the world....lots of drama! So I take these moments and cherish them with all my heart. Just gotta have a little faith!