me + tired = a little bit of crazy

Exhaustion equals women who balance careers, husbands, home, children, life! pick a combination and there you have a formula for exhaustion.

Besides when the girls were all babies...the 3 youngest I had in 3 years time.....I know WHAT was I thinking?! um k don't answer that :) .... what was I saying again? oh yeah being tired and this is me tired. Rambling. A little grumpy.... I said a LITTLE! J may say a LOT! and physically feeling my body telling me to slow down. The problem is as a woman with a career of sorts, a house, a husband, 4 delightful always obedient ever so helpful children, friends who I never seem to have time for and my inner circle seems to be getting smaller, I am not sure I can see light at the end of the tunnel!

The tugs at my attention all seem so important and never ending all wrapped up into one big ball of responsibility. I am forever trying to find the balance and it always seems to allude me. This all gives me heartburn. Bad heartburn. Like wake me up in the middle of the night can't move heartburn. It sucks. I know in the scheme of it all it could be worse. I could be dealing with what Patti is and really with all what I am dealing with it seems like nothing compared to that. Not to diminish my nothing I am just saying that I get that things could be much much worse.

I don't even know what this post is about...ok I am truly tired! wanna hear my new favorite joke? ok I am asking my readers a question they cannot answer... I am a sad sad tired woman!

here it is

how many people with ADD does it take to change a light bulb?

I got a blue bike!

ok I love that .... it really sums me up right about now!

So back to my whining about me and why I am so tired, or at least 1 of the many many reasons, there is a situation...or something like that not even sure what you can call it....but I am having a hard time with something that I am not even sure I should blog about....but I have a big mouth and loose fingers! I am not sure if I am being stubborn or what. I am rambling so much I can't even get to the point! there are some people, that I don't like... I know boo hiss gasp for shame.....and when I say I don't like... I mean I really don't like for various reasons. The problem is for reasons that I will have some maturity about and not blog about is, I cannot really escape them, as much as I would love to. I am struggling with how to be civil..again boo hiss for shame on me.. not sure what part is being nice and civil for the sake of others and how much of it is not being true to myself, so I have just been avoiding to the exclusion of others. Is that the problem? am I so selfish that I cannot lay my feelings aside for those that I care about? and I am not even sure why I can't get over it?! too old? too tired? need to deal with offense and forgiveness? all of the above? it perplexes me actually.

Have any of you, my dear hopefully not too confused readers, been in a situation as this, as vague as I can describe it? what did/do you do?

Besides the exhaustion here is a very ADD run down on what I have been up too lately:

taking J to various specialist appointments as it seems there is a possibility the CIDP is moving to muscles internally and this has been a little scary.

having to breath thru the HSTfactor that has affected my husbands work, my work, my parents work, my bills and expenses and a LOT of frustration

reading...finished Pride & Prejudice ...sigh LOVE LOVE LOVE it, Wuthering Heights... had no idea it was so dark and heavy, the Red Tent..... very interesting, the Birth House.... loved it great book

soccer... Hailey is in soccer and has practices 2 times a week and a game every Sunday... when the coaches actually seem to know what is going on, very frustrating but LOVE watching her play and do so well

specialist appt with Hailey....on going, getting ready to go back again soon, haven't finished all my homework with this = guilt for everything on SO many levels

new student.... very pleasant very polite very problem here really

work....where to even begin?, what a challenge, huge learning curve continually and a major stretch for my I hate everything controversial approach with people as much as I possibly can... love the challenge mostly, love so many aspects, learning how to work smarter and not harder...hopefully!

somewhere in there I get snippets of visits with those I love and care about.....Thursday is J and my 15th wedding anniversary and since that took me 5 attempts to spell I have realized that I am way too tired to possibly write anything more and will continue this ramble another time.


rena said…
I'm going to hunch that you are not not going to enjoy hearing this, and I'm going to venture into saying it anyway, because I love you, and you need rest and there anything you can give up, as in drop? as in stop doing? what do you want? and what is not droppable, and what is droppable? because ultimately, your health, both physically and emotionally, is about the most important thing you have...yes, even more important than your family, career, friends, because ultimately, your family, career and friends won't be able to enjoy you if and when you hit rock bottom...ok, you can call me and yell me if you want...I love you THIS MUCH, TO THE MOON AND BACK TIMES TWO PLUS FOREVER...

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