blips

there are times in my life when I run into a bit of a blip.....Christmas this year was a blip for me!

what is a blip you say?

well to me a blip is a period in time when ALL else seems to stop except for the enormous feelings that you are feeling at the time.....to me....that's a blip!

This January it has been 3 years since J was diagnosed with CIDP and while most of the time I feel ....not sure exactly but basically like I can DEAL with it all and what it means for me and my family, there are times...blips....that I feel like I am trapped in a vortex of feeling, where every feeling is the biggest feeling I have ever felt. These feelings tend to take over and make things...well nonsensical!

There are times when it seems that we are on a merry-go-round of emotions in dealing with this disease. There is no manual that comes with it on what is a wrong and right way of feeling or dealing with it.

There are times when I just need someone to say, you are entitled to feel this way, cuz there are times when not only do I not know how to deal with this the "right" way but then when I am in my blip I feel guilty....guilt is a great companion!

Part of this disease and the effects it has on your family is a sense of isolation. You don't want to let people too close to see how it is affecting you. I miss having close friends around all the time. We used to be way more social then we are now! This New Year we hope to change some of that! I am not sure if there is any time that you feel a light bulb go off and you know exactly how to deal with all this but there are moments that you feel a little more sure..... a little more sure in amongst a few blips here and there.

1 comment:

Cheri said...

No words would come to me when I first read this. I wanted to reach through virtual space and give you a hug.