today I had a thought run through my head and not to long after that was talking with someone outside of Staples about exactly what I had thought about... I know, weird eh?!
what I had thought was this
I wonder if when people ask you "how are you?" if they really want to know!
why did I think about this?
well I have a family member who is basically going blind, she can only see shapes now and no details, when I ask some of my family... how is she doing? I get a rare answer and it is usually, she is doing much better and getting stronger everyday. I certainly hope this is the case and I am all for positive thinking and believing but where I get lost is this.... where does reality and dare I say the truth lie and how can I pray and how can I help gets lost in the "she is on the mend". I hope she is.
***I am not meaning to step on anyone's toes by this post and I definitely am not trying to say I don't believe she is not getting any better or that she won't get any better!
I am living with someone has a "chronic" illness and it all makes me wonder..... when people ask me "how are you? how is J?" do they want to know? do they want to hear the positive answer and what we are hoping and praying for? do they want to hear that some days are really bad and I struggle with the phrase "God will never give you more than you can handle"! in fact many days when I hear that I want to say OH REALLY???!!! I don't think it means I have a lack of faith or that if I don't say 100% positive things 100% of the time I am going to mess up J's healing!! cuz really, wouldn't that make me "bigger" than God?!
ok I am using a ton of " and ! in this post :)
I think there are some people that ask only to be polite. They really only want to stop long enough to hear "we're fine, kids are great, J is great and I am fantastic!" There are some people who probably want to hear all the negative dirt....the juicy details so they can tell everyone they know that they know more about our family than anyone else.... and I think, well I know! that there are those that genuinely want to know, that care, that would pray for us... that do pray for us, that love our girls and really want to know HOW they are doing, what they are doing, who love J and want to see him well. Those are the ones that I want to be able to answer honestly and share a glimpse into our lives.
I wonder how I come across to others? I wonder if they think I am genuine and care or if I am just so busy being busy and important that I make them feel they have to give me the pat answer?
This Christmas I am making it my goal to slow down, listen and BE there in a real present sort of way even if I only have a minute!