well when the bad gets going...well basically when the #(#))( hits the fan! I have no nice little antidote...sometimes you hit the wall and there is no just getting up and dusting it off and strolling on your merry way. Sometimes....sometimes... you hit the wall and fall down and sit there for awhile staring at the wall and wondering how it came to be there. Sometimes we get so focused on how what where why the wall is there that it becomes our new focus, our new obsession. Sometimes we are able to dust ourselves off and really and truly keep going....loading more and more on our shoulders and not really taking the time to discover why we felt any kind of wall in the first place.
sometimes we get really great advice
sometimes we get really crappy advice
and then sometimes you get a glimpse of what you knew all along
that the wall is meant to stop you from keeping on the loaded way you are going
to give you a break from what you were never meant to carry
wow that was deep!
I sometimes get deep thoughts! well to me they are deep to others these might be the ramblings of a strange and wacky woman and they very well might be!! just going to have to stay tuned to find out!
so what I am wanting to say in all this is
it is what it is and you can chose to ignore the screaming obvious
you can chose to look in the mirror and deal
I am dealing
I had a great "phone" meeting with a lady that I trust and if you don't have one of those....find one!! along with a couple of really meaningful emails, I felt poured in to!
one thing I was told and I am planning on doing with purpose is
writing down daily blessings
writing down every day something that went right
turning my and my family's focus to realize and choose to celebrate the everyday blessings that happen to us...be it someone opening the door for us, someone giving an unwarranted smile, or saying a timely and meaningful word!
we are going to look at the good and positive things happening in our lives and focus on them
if you didn't already know, what you are going thru affects your kids! they too are spirit and pick up on what you are feeling and going thru!
so me living as if the other shoe is going to drop, like the floor is about to give way at any moment has crept into my children and so now it is up to me to turn that around
so here is what I am happy about today...the little or not so little things that were a blessing to me
- my parents came home last night instead of tonight... huge blessing for me
- tonight at dinner my girls were happily talking about their day at school, Em is working on her Peer Counselling certificate and that is pretty cool!
- dinner was ready for me when I got home and it was yummy
- girls played so well together after dinner
- someone told me they loved seeing my big smile
I am blessed and although I may hit a wall again somewhere along my journey.... and having lived 35 years and having being married for 14 years and having 4 daughters I am smart enough to realize it will most likely happen, I am not wanting to hit this particular wall again, I am wanting to learn what I need to learn, refocus and turn it around!