working it all out

There are so many moments when I think I am working it all out, where I feel like ok I can do this, I am taking it one day at a time and NOT looking at the overwhelming big picture. I think so much of me has been waiting for the other shoe to drop that I started looking for loose shoe laces everywhere I go.

There are moments when I want desperately to read a good book to take me away from all my thinkings! my bunny trail after bunny trail of thoughts. I love reading, I think I have mastered the art of tuning out my kids and totally loosing myself in a book.

I had a comment a couple of posts back from someone anonymous telling me that I was frantic all the time. That really bothered me until this weekend when we were facing yet another situation with our teenager and yet another Dr ordered test for J that seemed to come out of nowhere and scared me silly ( they ordered bone scans looking for 2 different types of lesions), and J said La stop being SO frantic, you are worrying about stuff that we have no control over and you are making it bigger than it needs to be. OUCH. Truth hurts sometimes, but it's true. I realized that I am being frantic, but in a quiet internal FREAKING out frantic with all the different things we are facing as parents and with J's health, with our own house/tenants, mould issues in our rental house, our exchange student, Foo's upcoming surgery, whether or not we truly will be able to get a holiday with our girls, the opening of the new bakery which means I will be busier with work, you know "lala's world".

So now that I know I am doing this, I have to stop it. I have to take it one day at a time. OK that is SOOOOOOOOOOO much easier to say then to do!

I know the planner/controller in me has to stop cuz there are so many things out of my realm of control, things I have to trust Him in, things that will work themselves out in time.

I am trying to work it all out!!! it's just a bit hazy here in my head at the moment!

I did this cute thing with Foo on my notes in Facebook, it's so cute so I am going to end this lost in my head confusing post!! :)

If you have a kiddo old enough to answer, do this...it was really worth it for the laughs!!Cut and paste these questions and ask your kids their answers....
I asked her the questions and wrote down her first responses

1. What is something mom always says to you?
I love you

2. What makes mom happy?
me kissing her

3. What makes mom sad?
me hurting her

4. How does your mom make you laugh?
kissing me

5. What was your mom like as a child?
funny

6. How old is your mom?
mom how old are you? oh 20

7. How tall is your mom?
21

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
go out with her children

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
haves some alone time with dad

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
being pretty

11. What is your mom really good at?
typing

12. What is your mom not very good at?
cooking, (gee thanks)

13. What does your mom do for a job?
work at a restaurant

14.What is your mom's favorite food?
it's tricky you like all of the foods

15.What makes you proud of your mom?
making her laugh

16. If your mom was a cartoon character, who would she be?
woody the woodpecker............ (what the heck?)

17. What do you and your mom do together?
laugh together

18. How are you and your mom the same?
our noses and our eyes

19. How are you and your mom different?
her mouth and her ears, my ears are soft and your ears are crunchy..... (ok I am going to get a complex)

20. How do you know your mom loves you?
her laughing at me

21. What does your mom like most about your dad?
his feet... ( um not really !! hehe)

22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?
my mom's sisters house

It is really cute to get a 6 year olds perspective!

2 comments:

Shash said...

I'll have to do this questionnaire with Li Li!

Do you remember you telling me about the picture you had about the backpack full of rocks, you laid it at the feet of Jesus and weren't to pick it up again. This was a picture you shared with the ladies at Muskoka's in 2006.

Casting all your cares for He cares for you! It is a hard thing - it is in our nature and sometimes easier to pick it back up again and is more of a habit we're used to, it's more comfortable to carry it because it has become a part of our identity.

Each day is a choice - how we look at that day, how we respond during that day, how we let things effect us that day. Each day is a new day so we get a new chance to change each morning we wake up.

Right now I'm working with Li Li on Philippians 4:8 and teaching him to make a conscientious choice to think on the good and not the bad, the beautiful things in life and not the ugly. It's helping with his outlook on those things he's having trouble with, like school where lately "everything sucks", you know "the sky is falling" mentality. It is something we have to actually train ourselves to do.

I'm rambling... I will leave you with this.

This is the day that the Lord has made and I WILL choose to rejoice and be glad in it!!

Love u!!!

Patti said...

You can do it. I believe in you. Just keep your eyes focused on His and you will find peace in the middle of it all.

Love you tons.