decisions and stresses

Why does life always seem to send you quandaries and decisions to be made ALL the time???? ahhhh sometimes I feel like as soon as I know where something is heading it's not, or maybe it is?? not really sure!! ok where am I going with this?

first I met quickly with Faith's teacher yesterday. She is way way behind in language/English. She is behind in math too but not as bad as she is in language arts. Part of it is due to her speech impediment, that certainly does not help cuz if she cannot speak properly she cannot phonetically spell or read! the speech pathologist can only spend 20 min/week with her! the whole district is short of speech pathologist mostly due to them going into private practice as there is more money in it for them! She has a TA (teacher's assistant) assigned to her to help her along, I am not sure how much time she gets but I am grateful for whatever time she does get. The teacher loves her, said she is a great student with a very kind heart. Faith has learned to compensate for what she does not know, which in one hand shows how intelligent she is but will not aid her in really learning what she needs to learn to move up in grades! So hard waiting for the testing and everyone included to get what we need to know on how she learns so she can learn! We are going to have to look at getting a private speech pathologist for her I think!

second, I am having doubts about the major company I am supposed to be working for. I had a meeting today with one of the owners, there are 4 owners, 2 of which are my parents. He asked me what I am being paid and after me starting to feel like I have to justify my pay and others pay and feeling REALLY uncomfortable, and him saying he is not sure the owners can afford to pay me that!!!!! ........ this is where I am ALL over the place and in a place I do not want to be.... he kept telling me not to take it the wrong way and it wasn't about me but he just wasn't sure the company could afford to pay me those wages. I am not sure how he thought I would take it, not sure what he wanted me to take it, not sure how I should take it but the whole thing left me feeling uneasy! I am feeling like this might be messy waters not sure if I am willing to walk into those waters. For years I questioned what I was worth, work wise....well in every sense.... and I know now what I am worth. I know what I am capable of accomplishing and how quickly and effectively I work. I am not willing to compromise that. J and I are both at this place and we are both at the place where we know we want our jobs to start working for us not the other way round. We know that we want holidays for our family, we want to buy a house down here. I do not want to work for a company that I have to feel like I have to justify myself or where my time or wages will be questioned. I approached my other company that I work for and inquired about full time and they want me full time....at my price that I want.....so I am tempted to just walk away from the company, even if most of it is owned by my parents. I think they will understand whatever I decide but I am afraid the whole thing might open a can of worms that is just uncomfortable and messy and just plain yucky for all.

so there you have it, on top of Christmas Parties and Christmas shopping and Christmas baking and cooking and craft fairs my kids are in ( which means ME!!) and caroling in the mall, it's just all life and all the time.

2 comments:

Nadine said...

I'll pray for your daughter. It's hard when your children have troubles.

The work situation is sticky, especially with your parents being involved. I pray it all works out for the good for you.

the voice of melody said...

It sounds like you have so much going on at once. I hope you find a moment today to relax and do something fun. Even if it's just reading a magazine for 10 minutes or having a cup of coffee without any interruptions. :)