It's always amazing to me how many big decisions one has to make in their life time! then I think I am too young to be thinking that!!! sometimes life seems like a sailboat just going where the wind sends you and others like a roller coaster full of extreme ups and downs! crazy to me!
I am definitely tired of the roller coaster and sail boats make me sick...literally I don't DO boats well :) and yet at times I love the thrill of the ride. Love the twists and turns and seeing where we end up!
So it seems to me that we have come to another BIG decision. It seems that we have made peace with the idea of moving back to the Coast. I don't feel like it is a failure or that we have given up or have a lack of faith. I feel that we have faced our options maturely and before God and have realized that for the next part of our journey we need to be back where our parents are. Not for them to take care of us or going back to what is comfortable but after praying about it I feel it is for a much needed rest.
Having said that I can totally see the fruit of why J and I were led here. Why we were here for the worst of his illness. I can see how close we have become together as a couple, together as a family and even closer in our faith. Although our faith has changed a lot, I don't think someone can go what we have and it NOT change!!, it has been for the good. If things are not good I am not going to pretend that they are, if I am struggling then I am going to be real about my struggling and I will always always put my family first! Time to be real. Time to stand up for myself and for my family and time to not go with the flow! Time to throw my hands up in the air and enjoy the ride!