this is my husband. We have been married for over 12 years now! we have been through our share of lives bumps and bruises... many highs and lows. We have lost 6 babies together, we have had 4 incredible daughters together, we have fought... sometimes very badly.... we have laughed and we have grown up together. So many roads, so many trials, so many choices. Here we are today getting ready for him to leave next week for work! you read that right WORK! after fighting CIDP for over 1 year, he is ready to try to go back to work. He did work a bit last summer running his landscaping business, not very successfully not because of him but he was not physically ready yet and we had a number of things against us from weather to trying to find decent trustworthy employees!
It is no secret to those of you who have graciously followed our journey on this blog! I know I am a bad blogger now and don't get to leave many comments, just not my biggest priority! that this has been a tough year! most of which I haven't even posted as sometimes when you are deepest in your own misery your perceptions are not always trustworthy! I have struggled with all this. I have struggled with my innate need for independence and yet my want for total dependence on the Father at the same time! such creatures we are!! The gamete of emotions we go through seem endless at times.
We have been tossing back and forth with moving back to the Coast where our parents are and a good deal of our family, for the support and to be closer to his doctors. We have had to re-examine what our reality might be, what our future might look like. We have had to learn to lay down our dreams and at the same time we have had to learn to stand and fight for our dreams and be determined. We don't know what the future will hold, but we are learning to trust.
So now J is leaving next week to go back up North after the head cheese called him and begged him to come back. It is only for 6-8 weeks.... the perfect amount of time to see what J's body is ready for and capable of. It is not heavy pipe he will be working with so that is good and J was honest that he is not 100% recovered yet and unsure what he is capable of, they are pretty convinced that even at not 100% J is a better worker than most. Quite a compliment. My man is a good worker and that is an understatement. That also could be a dilemma in that he pushes himself too hard! So if he finds that it is just too hard on his body then we go back to the drawing board. We are both excited that we are even at this point. A little more than a peek at the end of the tunnel!
No doubt this is going to be a challenge for all of us. He is ready for a break from being Mr. Mom though! This does leave me with 5 kids.... we have another exchange student till the end of the school year.... he is 11... yup a boy! first time I have ever had a boy live in my house..it is interesting and another post all together... and I am working full time! so it is going to take a lot of organizing to make it work! we are hoping that either which way I will be out of work at the end of June/July. I am so hoping and praying! So even though this is going to be hard I am just happy that we are here.