yah that's me!
but before you read on please go over to YewNorkBabe's blog and watch the video she linked under the title "everyone should see this". It is an amazing video that had me in tears!
I just read my mentor's blog " super mom " and couldn't believe the crap that someone posted anonymously in her comments! like really! I know that I have had a run in with someone getting off on trash talking me but it surprises me to no end that people actually read other people's blog that they apparently don't like and then leave nasty demeaning comments! but then that is maybe par for the course when we put our thoughts "out there" for all to see and leave comments on?! I think people need a crash course on manners and just good sense! this week at work I had to deal with 2 irate ladies on the phone that when I asked them to stop yelling at me told me to stop when I was talking calmly and quietly!! just blows me mind... anyways I feel frustrated! frustrated with people, frustrated with work cuz the lady I spent 3 months training gave me 1 days notice that she was going down to 1 day a week till the end of the month then she will be gone! gee thanks I really wanted to work full time NOT!! ahhhh I have to admit that I did see this coming and when her attitude was sucking I had more than a feeling my part time hiatus would be coming to an end. My friends even called me that same morning to ask if I would come back to Bible study as they would move it to Thursdays for me... my answer was I am not sure how long this will last so don't make any decisions based on me... went back in to the office after lunch and whalla back to 4 days a week! does anyone out there feel sorry for me??? sorry I am whining! my blog my right! I know that I will look back on these entries later and see what I don't see right now! I will see God working together for good on my behalf and ordering my steps! I know that because I am His daughter and that is what He does for His children!!!
I also feel frustrated right now with church! yup I said it being stewing on it for awhile but have to get it out as it were. I feel sooooooooooo frustrated with church... with the organization of it and the religiousness of it. I feel frustrated with seemingly plastic people... sorry a judgment call there but might as well lay it all out while I am at it and too overtired to care :) I feel frustrated with the church's agendas! I feel frustrated! gee can you tell? I miss super mom and her hubby and their church! I do and I know that has not helped us in finding or hearing where we are supposed to go. I keep comparing others to her and I know that's not fair. So I guess in many ways I feel frustrated with myself as well. I know going to church is important... in my head but my heart is saying another story! what we see in today's church's many of them anyways is not what God intended the body to be. They met in homes and loved on each other and helped the poor and needy.... they were there! Today it seems that church's are measured by their programs how up to date their sound system is and the good ol'numbers game. I long for that family again, that closeness that knowing that this group of people will love me no matter what. It definitely is on the pro list if we end up moving back to the coast that we will be part of the church we grew to love so deeply. please know in saying that that I am not saying we heard wrong for moving... I know we were supposed to move here! ... we have friends that have attended a home church for several years, they have about 10 committed families if I am remembering correctly... and they have more $$$ than they can give away!! they blessed us when J got sick and I know they have helped others! they sent M to camp one year when we couldn't afford it and that blessed her forever.... she was baptized in the Holy Spirit that camp! J expressed desire to find a home church.... somewhere where we can learn and grow and be a family.... it doesn't have to be in the biggest building in town or have the most professional programs.... but it does have to be real and honest and be about the Father's Love.... cuz to us that's all it is about! His Love.
so there is my verbal blahhhh about my frustrations! I don't mean to offend, just need to keep it real so that when I am on the other side of this.... I will know how far I have come... and that doesn't have to make sense to anyone else .... just me!