It seems so many people I know are going thru so many hard times right now. My friend Ruth just had a baby and there are complications. My neighbors sister just got diagnosed with cancer...again.... I could go on and on...... life is full of bumps and bruises it seems. A big question comes up with all this..... WHY? and what to do with it all.
I know with J having a relapse so soon of the CIDP we have asked this question. How do you deal with it? The thing that comes to my mind is we don't know the beginning to the end, we don't see the BIG picture. We have to believe the Word, trust in Him lean not on our own understanding and take it one day one step at a time. Hard advice to follow sometimes.
I have a hard time not feeling sorry for myself that I was heading to 3 days a week of working and now am in the situation where I either have to arrange to stay on more at where I am right now, or look for another p/t job for the other 2 days a week. Then I ask myself the question, who is my Provider? who is my Source? I know all these things I also know that when faced with difficult times financially we have to do our part too, at least I think so. I struggle with my manager at work and his attitudes and our differences in how we do things. I hate talking about it all the time, I never wanted to be one of those people (yup a judgement there!!) that always complained about their work and that's ALL they ever had to talk about!! ahhhh why is it that what we judge we become?? another good question?! judge not lest you be judged!! When I am at the end of myself is when I cling harder to the Lord, why don't I do that when things are good? I know that when I stopped seeking the why when I was having the miscarriages is when I finally received peace and had a vision of them.
We live in a fallen world. His Word says we will have troubles and tribulation but be of good cheer that He has overcome the world. Does that mean we will get all our answers here on earth? I tend to think we won't. So what do we do? I also think we can get lost in the blame game.....thinking that maybe we didn't hear right so we are facing the consequences. I think there is times when we do hear and don't listen....but we have to be careful that we don't go on a witch hunt looking for the why of what is happening. I think we have to ask the Lord to show us what to do NOW, what to stand on NOW.
We tried a new church on Sunday and it was great, there was a prophetic word that I felt came straight from the heart of the Father. It made me cry, I will try to relate the basis of that word ...... the Father was crying out about us asking Him for forgiveness over and over for the same things and He said I have already forgotten, I don't remember them anymore. move on. You are tying My hands by being stuck in the past. There is so much I want to do, so many blessing I want to pour out, so many plans I have for you but you are not enabling Me to do so. Start moving forward, don't look back....... it was simply amazing. Made me think of that saying about sitting in a boat but if you don't put the oars in the water and start paddling you will never get anywhere.
So today I choose to move on, not get stuck on where I have been but where I am going. Asking the Father today where do I stand, today where do I go, today what do I do. and that's all He wants of me.