the going on's

I mentioned a couple of posts ago that I would share why I quit my job, I have tried not to really talk about my job here cuz I have discovered there are wacko's out there in blog land ready to pounce on every little word you say and I would hate to give anyone "ammunition" so I will try to explain as PC as this ANTI-PC girl can be!!

my boss is a generation and then some older than me, he is also from Northern Africa so we have cultural differences as well and to top it all off he is muslim while I am Christian...... some major differences there!! He makes the most inappropriate jokes and innuendo's..... he is really not very professional a lot of the time. We have had some pretty interesting conversations about God's Love and whether the Sabbath is on Sat or Sunday, I tried to say I don't think it matters what day it is it about your heart and he strongly disagrees, it is all about following the laws and God will judge us on how much we followed the rules so to say. He actually told me I was a fool to believe that God loves everyone, stating very strongly that if He did He would not have flooded the world or destroyed Sodom and Gommora. Most of the time when I know he is wanting to get in to a debate I tell him I know what he is trying to do and we can agree to disagree. I understand that he lives in the hotel and gets very lonely, sometimes I do not mind a healthy debate as it challenges me and this was not the reason for all my frustrations. There were just so many little on going things that were slowly breaking my spirit down. I was exhausted after a days work and had little to nothing left to give to my family afterwards. I felt like I was cracking. Inappropriate comments were wearing me down and since I didn't know how to tell him I was not appreciating it I let it wear me down and then when he told me that I was not allowed to talk with my assistant unless it was strictly about work I lost it. She is only in 2 days a week and honestly we do not talk that much.He was also not going to give me my holidays which I asked for at my interview!! and made very clear was a must in order for me to even take the job. Lastly I was still not getting paid what I was told at the time of hiring......which I am now but why did it take that to get it? he said he didn't realize that I was not getting paid the same as the previous lady!! hmmmm ok

Up to this point J has started to do much better but the last 2 weeks he has started to feel numbness creep back into his hands and his gait is off again. I have asked some people to pray and honestly I feel at peace and not afraid. I did start to feel a bit guilty about cutting my hours back at work but I think this is the right thing to do for my family. I need to put them first! and trust God that He is our Provider and J is healed in Jesus Name. With me being home a couple of days we will save on gas, daycare and a cleaning lady! We also are waiting on getting a student that will help us as well. So I have hired someone to job share with me which also means I get to keep my benefits which is really helpful! She will start training next week.

We also decided that J will not be going out of town to work. Turning $10,000 CLEAR down a month seems crazy in the physical sense but we knew it was the right thing to do. He is actually excited about starting the plumbing business as the landscaping is almost done for the season. I was praying with my neighbor when I was in the process of deciding whether to look for an entire new job or go down to p/t and when she was praying for me she felt the Lord saying "take care of my needs and I will take care of yours"...... it totally moved me and I know that is the best place to be! We both are at peace with where our steps seem to be taking us right now. We have to stand on the fact that God has blessed us with this place and led us here He will not have us leave in shame.

Being grown up is so hard sometimes, hard when life doesn't turn out like how you planned when you were a little girl dreaming over the bridal magazines.....sometimes it is better! but sometimes you really have to work hard and not be moved by how you feel but what you know is truth. J and I are getting so much closer, we are on such a different level and I can honestly say that after 12 years of marriage I love him even more. Lately in my weakness's I have seen such growth in J and that is what it is all about, isn't it?

2 comments:

Glo said...

Lala,
First of all our prayers are with you,J and your family. I know making decisions is hard,but I do think you made all the right ones. So sorry about your job,but by putting it in God's hands, all will be great. He never lets us down. He will take care of you and your family.He never gives us more than we can handle. Jesus is all we need. I'm putting you on the prayer list at my Church if that is OK. Be strong and hang in there. We love and support you. If you just need to vent off blog here is my email glokincaid@sbcglobal.net.

Theresa said...

Lala, you have gone through so much in the year or so that I have been reading your blog. You are an amazing example of trusting God. You are in my prayers.