I am not sure where this post is going to go, just might be the incorrherent ramblings of a very tired lady! staying up till 2 am is not something my body can do well anymore! but I had fun and hey.... we all need that in our lives!.
Last night I went to see Evan Almighty staring Steve Carrel, who I LOVE!!! if you know me you know my fav tv 1/2 show is the office......please rent the dvd's you won't be sorry! anywoo last night I went with my 2 girl friends, it was all our birthdays pretty close together so it was our little celebration. This movie was AWESOME! like there were SO many profound statements and messages! and it is rated G so everyone can see it. I think church groups should see it! in fact I think this is a great movie for just sharing His love with everyone! so please go see it, you will not be disappointed. I cried even!!! it spoke to me in so many ways.
One line in the movie was God saying to Joan (the wife) if you pray for patience do you think God gives you patience or does He give you circumstances in your life for you to learn patience? um yah!! good stuff. Grace and salvation are free, totally not earned! some gifts though are better earned then just given! It really spoke to me especially with what my family has been going thru. There were several other things in the movie that spoke to me too........... so who ever said God can't use Hollywood to speak to you????
It feels like I have been on a bit of a roller coaster ride for awhile again. Some adjustments take longer and are harder to process. J has seemed to plateaued in his recovery and has to go be re-evaluated to see where he is at now. His Dr told me this could be it for his recovery and especially now that he is working before his body was ready. We found out this week that we have been disallowed long term disability....this was with the government.....they stated they don't feel his case is serious enough. The Dr is fighting this but we really can't see them bending. Working is taking it's toll on him and taking the energy that his body needs to heal just to get thru the day. I can feel the emotions he is going thru and yet he is trying to deal with them on his own. This is hard. This is really really hard. It is also hard for me to write out how I am truly feeling here as I feel like I am censored a bit. censored by the anonymous commentor who threatened me, censored by J who sometimes takes me getting my thoughts out here wrong, censored by who ever might read this and take it the wrong way!! Anyways, we are pluggin along and just trying to take things one day at a time, as cliche as that sounds, but it is true.
I have asked for my high school transcripts and am planning on going back to school. As busy and tired as I already am I know some might think I am crazy.....BUT if I have to work then I want to love what I do, and although I like being in management and doing accounting, it is not my passion. It is not what makes me tick. Before we moved about a year ago I had started to look into social work and being a community support worker, something in that field. Now I am thinking of finding a job where I can get the summers and holidays off with my kids! So I am taking small steps forward and again as big of an extra load that might be I also feel it is stepping in the right direction. It makes me feel excited about working towards a career...job...whatever that I am passionate about and what I have thought about doing for a long time. Not just a job because I am good at it but doesn't satisfy me.
So there you go, some ramblings of a tired lady with great taste in movies!!!!