What does forgiveness look like?

Last night I took Morgan to the parent/student orientation for her Junior High School. I really cannot believe that she is going to be in high school already! At the school I kept thinking, I am not old enough to have a kid in high school! it is also kind of weird to think that while I have my oldest starting high school my baby will be starting kindergarten!

anyways

When we first got there we were walking down the hall and there was a couple standing there with their son. I said hello I am L___ Morgan's mom, and she said hi I am C, T mom.......my heart was in my throat! this is the boy who was bullying Morgan for the last couple of weeks. Can we say AWKWARD!!!

She proceeded to tell me how Monday was an awful day for everyone involved. I said yes it sure was. She said yes it was a really hard day. I said the worst part was finding out that she had been going through this for a couple of weeks all alone and had not told anyone! She said yah I was away for a couple of weeks and I guess he thought he get away with things and now that I am home we are getting back on track. I said oh. Then I said, you know what made it all harder is that personally as a family we are going through a lot right now with her dad being sick and down on the Coast for testing. We have been going through so much and there is never a good time for stuff like this but right now has been brutal. She said oh yah. And that was that. I was a little more than surprised that she didn't once say I am so sorry for what my son said to your daughter.......I kind of thought she should have! I know that if it was my child I would have said that I was sorry for the pain my child had caused.

But

I had prayed for them and Morgan and I forgave them. So now I have to walk it out. Forgiving someone means not waiting for an apology I think. Being able to let it go!

I know that in my life I certainly have had to forgive a lot of people. Some of them took years to walk out fully! From teachers, friends, family members and yes pastor's even people hurt people, I know I have hurt others too!

The best teaching I ever heard on forgiveness was from John Arnott. He said you have to choose either mercy or justice, you can't have both. What do you want from others? do you want to get what you truly deserve? or do you want mercy? I certainly want mercy and that is what we received from Jesus! so how can I demand mercy for myself and then ask for justice for those who have hurt me or my children? you can't! So I choose mercy.


update on J: no final word yet, he is having an MRI sometime today and will be released from the hospital tomorrow I believe. If he doesn't have to stay down there to have treatments then he will be driving back home on Saturday. If his back is better! it is quite sore still from the spinal tap. EDITED.....J said he has to stay till next week......boohoo:(

and I am having a hard time with my server, my internet connection is disconnecting over and over again, especially when I am trying to leave comments. I don't know if is has to do with being out in the country our not, but I am very frustrated with it! so I am reading your blogs but having a really hard time leaving comments!

9 comments:

mom of 2 said...

It's tough to forgive someone in a situation like that. I, too, would have apologized for my child's behavior, but people are different. Our pastor did a sermon on forgiveness a while back. He said that you may have to forgive someone every day that it doesn't just go away...it stays and is a process. I think you are setting a great example for your daughter!!

PaPa said...

J Called and left a message with his times for the MRI etc. Mom and I will head in later. His parents were supposed to come by here yesterday and get the keys for his truck. They didn't.

Forgivess- a major subject. A must because holding a offense does damage to both parties no matter who caused the offense. Forgiveness releases both to receive ministry.

Psalm 119:165 Great Peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.
I had to quote that many times even when my head said opposite.

Just Being Me said...

I've learned that if I exact justice then it doesn't leave any room for God to do it on my behalf. You are a sweet woman and how awkward for you to be faced with situation all of sudden. It looks like you did a fine job handling it. At least the mom is aware and will be keeping an eye on her son.

I've had to walk out forgiveness sometimes its very easy and other times not so much, but the point is to keep walking it out. You are a very wise woman.

Dawn said...

Very good thoughts on forgiveness. I agree, though, that she should have apologized - and required her son to as well.

Shash said...

Unfortunetly for our humaness, forgiveness doesn't require the other party to ask for it. It is required of you because you know the Word and what God requires of you. Sinners sin. Always remember that Jesus died for us while we were yet sinners, He didn't wait until we asked forgiveness.

MugwumpMom said...

We do forgiveness for ourselves. Last night I was reading the Word and came across "and peacemakers who plant seeds of peace shall reep a harvest of goodness". Pretty impossible to be a peacemaker without forgiveness.

Enjoy you weekend. Still praying for you guys.

Morning Glory said...

I firmly believe that forgiveness is for your/our own benefit. People may go through life never apologizing, but that's their problem. Having a forgiving heart keeps the line of communication open between God and me and keeps the human clutter out.

I have begun to realize that the discipline of saying it and meaning it, in spite of how I feel, is the key. Then as time goes by, my heart and life move forward.

It sounds like you've got a pretty good perspective on the whole thing.

(the blog commenter HAS been a bear the last couple days)

Elle*Bee said...

You are so correct that we have to work on forgiving immediately rather than waiting until - or IF - we receive that apology. It's a challenge, but a goal worth striving for. (And, it's what Jesus has done for us. He has offered every one of us the gift of forgiveness. Whether we accept that gift is up to us, but I don't believe he waits for us to ask to be forgiven.)

Ruth said...

ahhh
that is hard.
i feel your mamas heart.

thanks for sharing on this. i can relate to it as i am walk ing this out in my own life....with people that hurt me 10 years ago!!!??! help us LORD!