why me?

Just finished watching the Oscars and while there were a few surprises, as always, I wasn't too far off in my guess.

I am finishing a weekend with the kids by myself for the first time in over 2 months! J made it safely to the Coast and enjoyed the weekend with his family. It sure is a lot quieter around here without him! him and 1 less puppy! 2 left and I think we are going to keep the black one I showed you a couple of posts ago. The girls and I had a busy weekend with a family movie night at school and I went to a ladies Bible Study with Sandra Friday night. This morning we went to church and then home for the Oscar's!

I think the girls are testing me again and my patience has been a little extended, it is amazing how J's presence deters some of the more stronger minded girls from acting out. Like AMAZING. From bed time to complete defiance it feels like I am back in Sept again trying to gain control. I cannot imagine what it would have been like right now if I had to go be going to work while J is gone as well. Like CRAZY! So glad glad glad glad that I did not take that job at the accounting firm! phew.

I have been feeling really tired, like really tired and although I am starting to sleep a little better at night it is not great yet. I find myself grinding my teeth and clenching throughout the day and my thoughts drifting to a lot of what ifs. I even found 2 white hairs, I have always been so happy that I haven't had any grey yet....and WHAAAAAAH I found not 1 but 2, 2 white hairs, they were not even grey, just skipped that and jumped right into white....ooops digressing.

Our school's Principal's wife died last week of cancer, she was in her 50's. One of my friends went to the funeral and said that her Eulogy, delivered by her husband, was beautiful. She was a strong lady who went through so much in her lifetime and she never said "why me?". I was standing there listening to her talk and I thought, oh man I am failing at that and it is not even happening to my body!!! I keep catching myself saying "why me? why him? why us?". So many people are going through so much worse.

In my life I have been taught to not be self-focused, take your eyes off yourself and keep them on God. I am trying. Friday night after the Bible study, I asked if the lady, who was hosting it, could pray with me and Sandra for J. It was a real divine appointment and I felt His presence strongly. It was encouraging and strengthening and Sandra had a neat picture of J and wind knocking him down but then a stronger wind came from the right and righted J to his feet. We know that greater is He that is for us then he that is against us!! Amen.

I just talked to J on the phone and he said one of his Uncle-in-laws is a radiologist in Penticton and he is going to try to help J get in with a Neurologist this week. His Uncle feels that for J to go through the emergency and see if he can see one, would be waisting his time. So pray warrior friends and family of mine, pray for favor, pray for timing, pray for wisdom, pray for the Lord's WIND to right J on his feet whole in mind soul spirit and body! and that the question why me would be laid to rest and God will get the glory in our lives.

6 comments:

Cool Mama said...

Hey Lise...just so you know, am contining to pray for you and J. Let us know how things are going with his visit down here. HOw are you and the girls doing? How's J doing? Keep us up to date, and the church will be right behind you with our prayers!

Art said...

Praying...

Nicole said...

I think kids KNOW when they can get away with stuff. My kids do it too. Daddy walks in the room and they stand up straighter and start behaving. It gets old, but I just think there is something about a Daddy. Ya know?

Shash said...

Didn't you find the Oscars long and boring this year??!! I did!! I was so not into it - even the gowns were ordinary!

There is something to be said about a man in the home. Even dogs listen better to their voices!! I have the same issues with my kids. They have to know that even if it's just me -- they have to listen, I have let them get away with lots more than Dave has ever -- that's the difference.

This too shall pass!!

Morning Glory said...

Praying, too.

Elle*Bee said...

sending more prayers and good wishes your way...