Cuz I love you thisssssssssssssssss much

Tonight my dad, aka papa, and my oldest Morgan are emailing back and forth trying to out do each other on how many ss's they can type when saying I love you thissssssssssssssssss much. It really is so sweet. It reminded me of something that happened last week and ya know just didn't get it here!

I have 3 older sisters. They are 11, 10 and almost 2 years older than me. I love that I am from a family of 4 girls and I have 4 girls too! My sister who is 10 years older than me has been our "black sheep" in our family. She has struggled with addictions and has had a rough life. She ran away from home when she was 16, I was 6. She moved back home when she was 18 and pregnant. I am only 8 years older than my nephew! Needless to say I didn't know her very well growing up. I do remember though, that she was the one who felt sorry for me in the middle of the night when I was desperate to sleep with someone, anyone, as I had horrific nightmares as a child. I would go from bed to bed begging someone to let me sleep with them. She never said no to me. This is an amazing thing cuz I snored.......and not just your deep breathing snore but your oh my goodness I can't believe these noises are coming from this little child kind of snore. (I had my tonsil's and adenoids out when I was 11 and I don't snore anymore.....well mostly!) I did wake up from time to time with her holding a pillow over my head yelling at me to SHUT UP! hehe I don't blame her!

Then after her being away a lot and living away she moved back to our town and came to work for our parents with me. During this time we got to get to know each other as adults. It was not an easy time as I know she wanted to get things right but was still not able too. It didn't end well and it was hard on all of us.

Now she lives about 7 hours away from me. She is back together with her husband and the father of their son. She became a grandma at 39 years old! Today she is doing well.

She called me last week and I started to cry when I heard her voice. I called her back right before I left for my interview, almost making me late! but I didn't care too much. I had been thinking of her so much and was so glad that she had called.

She had heard about J and what we are going through right now, she was so sympathetic, so caring so loving. I was overwhelmed by how much I miss her and love her.

Driving to the interview I was thinking of her.....and trying to calm my nerves......and I felt the Lord whispering to my heart.

I was thinking it is amazing how little time I have actually spent with her but how much I love her. How she made some bad choices that hurt the family but in the end I still love her so much. Then I heard the Father say, Now how much more do you think I love her? how much I love the sound of her voice? and it doesn't matter how little time she spends with me I still love her.

I was overwhelmed. I cried. I thanked the Father that He first loved us, He continues to love us even when we go astray. He never stops pouring out His love. cuz He loves us thissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss much!!!!

11 comments:

Art said...

It's great that you have that kind of relationship despite the problems. It's also wonderful that your sis seems to have bested her demons (with a little help from 'above' I assume).

But a grandma at 39??? I shudder because I am also... well, I am NOT a grandma, I can tell you that much!

Nicole said...

WOW!! That is one of my favorite posts from you. You know I have 3 girls and a boy and I pray that my kids will love each other like this. It ALMOST made me cry. I beat it this time though. You just have a way with words.

Your sister is VERY lucky to have such a loving human being as her sister. Both of you are so blessed.

Praying for your Prodigal said...

What a beautiful post.

Diane

Theresa said...

That was beautifully and well written. I'm in tears!

Shash said...

I'm glad she is doing well too, it's been a hard hard time with her and seeing her fall so many times. I'm glad she's found her feet.

p.s. you didn't just snore... you sounded like an elephant with a stuffed nose. WOW!! and not only that but you liked to talk in your sleep. I used to love bugging you while you were sleeping 'cause you'd actually answer back, weird answers mind you.

Yellow Mama said...

Okay, I am officially tearing up. It doesn't matter what kind of "crap" we do, God still loves us and definately, we should extend that love to others who are in the middle of their own "crap".

Loved it!

Shash said...

Let us know how your second interview at the hotel went!!

Dawn said...

This was a good one! I know now that you know what we have gone through as a family.

And my little Care Bear snores when she sleeps with me!

Kristen said...

What a beautiful post!!

Lala's world said...

J said that I was talking in my sleep last night, he talked backed to me but I answered incoherently, Faith talks in her sleep too but thankfully none of the girls snore like I did!

Just Being Me said...

This was a beautifully written post. How comforting it is to hear His voice. Thank you for sharing.