Tonight my dad, aka papa, and my oldest Morgan are emailing back and forth trying to out do each other on how many ss's they can type when saying I love you thissssssssssssssssss much. It really is so sweet. It reminded me of something that happened last week and ya know just didn't get it here!
I have 3 older sisters. They are 11, 10 and almost 2 years older than me. I love that I am from a family of 4 girls and I have 4 girls too! My sister who is 10 years older than me has been our "black sheep" in our family. She has struggled with addictions and has had a rough life. She ran away from home when she was 16, I was 6. She moved back home when she was 18 and pregnant. I am only 8 years older than my nephew! Needless to say I didn't know her very well growing up. I do remember though, that she was the one who felt sorry for me in the middle of the night when I was desperate to sleep with someone, anyone, as I had horrific nightmares as a child. I would go from bed to bed begging someone to let me sleep with them. She never said no to me. This is an amazing thing cuz I snored.......and not just your deep breathing snore but your oh my goodness I can't believe these noises are coming from this little child kind of snore. (I had my tonsil's and adenoids out when I was 11 and I don't snore anymore.....well mostly!) I did wake up from time to time with her holding a pillow over my head yelling at me to SHUT UP! hehe I don't blame her!
Then after her being away a lot and living away she moved back to our town and came to work for our parents with me. During this time we got to get to know each other as adults. It was not an easy time as I know she wanted to get things right but was still not able too. It didn't end well and it was hard on all of us.
Now she lives about 7 hours away from me. She is back together with her husband and the father of their son. She became a grandma at 39 years old! Today she is doing well.
She called me last week and I started to cry when I heard her voice. I called her back right before I left for my interview, almost making me late! but I didn't care too much. I had been thinking of her so much and was so glad that she had called.
She had heard about J and what we are going through right now, she was so sympathetic, so caring so loving. I was overwhelmed by how much I miss her and love her.
Driving to the interview I was thinking of her.....and trying to calm my nerves......and I felt the Lord whispering to my heart.
I was thinking it is amazing how little time I have actually spent with her but how much I love her. How she made some bad choices that hurt the family but in the end I still love her so much. Then I heard the Father say, Now how much more do you think I love her? how much I love the sound of her voice? and it doesn't matter how little time she spends with me I still love her.
I was overwhelmed. I cried. I thanked the Father that He first loved us, He continues to love us even when we go astray. He never stops pouring out His love. cuz He loves us thissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss much!!!!