Thank you all for your encouragement! we all have bad days and yesterday morning was one of mine..........HOWEVER........... I did see God really meet me and showed me that He is really looking out for me.
I went back to ICI Paints the store where the girls were at one of their all time worse behaviors.....like no kidding! and I talked to the lady and apologized for what happened earlier. We started chatting and we discovered that we are both believers..... and she totally encouraged me and prayed for me! what a blessing! she gave me her number and wants to have coffee with me sometime..........then as I was leaving she said......just to keep things in perspective both my children's marriages have fallen apart in the last 6 months and a year ago my brother was killed and a few months later his wife gave birth to their baby and was born at 2 pounds and they think he has some kind of dwarfism..........so things can always be worse.......... um yah! totally! at first I thought I was being rebuked in a way and then I was like you know she is right, most of what I am going thru is superficial stuff.............then on the way home I just really felt God saying to me that it is ok to have feel bad and vent....cuz what I am going thru is real to me! Having said that I can't stay there! I have to move on!............so I am!
Xangelle gave some great advice about seeing if I can get Hailey on a natural parasite stuff and I am definitely going to look into that! I also am going to see if they have some natural things I can put her on to calm her and help her focus. I also took ALL the candy away!! I think part of the behavior was overload on sugar!
J is coming home today and I am really happy about that! my friend from next door is coming over to help me clean! can we say "BLESSING" and I went over last night with the girls and we watched Little House on the Prairie dvd together (hint to family members reading this.....the LHOTP dvd's would be a great present for the girls!!! they love that show) then I picked Morgan up from Youth and after the girls were all in bed I went over for a hot tub and a glass of wine............sooooooooooooooooooo nice!!!! it was nice to talk...you know adult conversation?!! something I don't get a lot of in the house!!
Last night at dinner me and the girls did have quite the serious talk though! Morgan likes a boy and he likes her, at the dance the other day he kissed her on the cheek......she was floating that day! I am glad she told me, glad that she is comfortable enough to tell me....totally key I think with teenagers! and then last night she shyly told me that she loves him!!! I almost fell off my chair!! so I started to talk to all the girls about words....and how freely we throw them around. I told them that I was the first girl that daddy ever told he loves and he was 17 and I was 16. I told them that I always had boyfriends and I had thrown that word around quite easily......and when I told their daddy that I loved him.....for the first time I meant it and knew it was really love....not infatuation or anything like that.....daddy asked me if I had ever said that to anyone else...I told him sadly yes but I didn't mean it.....he then asked me how was he to know I meant it now?...........good question eh?! so I told the girls put a guard on your words, don't say anything to someone that will affect your future friendship. Don't throw sentiments around easily because you will lose your credibility. Always treat them as your friend because at 12 the odds are you are not going to marry this person, you don't know really what it means to love someone. Deep conversation....then Hailey looks at me and says " yuck do I have to hear all this?" um yah!!!
ok well better get started cleaning! I feel like I am fighting a cold and hopefully it is not strep throat cuz it is feeling a little bit like that right now! I know I am totally not myself when I don't want coffee!!! that probably has been adding to my feeling overwhelmed too! time to take more vitamins I think!!