Father's .............

I have been thinking all day what to post about my father. You see right now things are a little tense between us. Well he says he is fine and I really am doing better about things so that is good. It is hard for me to have things be weird between us. We have always been really close and I know that once we actually "talk" things will be back to the way they should be. Life has little cliches sometimes and events and conversations happen and you just have to work it out.....forgive....love and let go.......and sometimes ask for forgiveness too!!

I just finished reading my sister Shash's post about our dad. He really has been a wonderful dad! I am blessed to have him still! I was never abused or neglected, I was never without....even though things were tight a lot we were always fed..........my dad made sure of that. He worked very hard and in fact he is still the hardest working person I have ever met in my life!! maybe a bit too much! but he enjoys it and says it keeps him young!! he is young though, he is only 60. So I am grateful that he is my dad and I love him very much. We might not understand each other all the time but in the end we accept each other for who we are and that is important.

My husband is also an amazing father. He loved Morgan instantly and wanted to be her daddy, even though he was only 20 at the time and his friends all gave him a hard time about getting saddled with a girl with "baggage"...........he never saw that......although he did take some time before committing to us permanently.....which is better then rushing into things! He couldn't wait to have more kids and it broke his heart over the years that we kept having miscarriages. There was a time when we thought Morgan would be it and we wouldn't have any more children.

When I was pregnant with Emily he was SO proud.....I would walk into a room and he would say.......out loud to everyone!!.........."look at my wife....isn't she getting huge???".......this was said with so much love and complete joy at the aspect that we were actually carrying a baby full term! he wasn't saying I was huge cuz I was fat........which I was getting but that is not the way he meant it. When Emily was born J didn't hold back the tears........ she brought SO much healing after 3 1/2 years of turmoil. When they quickly discovered she was sick he could barely keep it together. They put her in the incubator and he cried. He cried when they kept pinching her trying to make her cry cuz they didn't know what was wrong and they were trying to see if she had just inhaled fluid............if you are new here then you might want to read this to understand what she had.

He was so proud of her and couldn't wait to show her off at every possible moment. He stayed up with her during the night and volunteered to change diapers!!! He was equally proud of having Hailey and his/our dream of having a large family was within sight! We lost another baby after Hailey and barely hung on to Faith but she made it, obviously, and there you have our amazing family.

He is loving and affectionate to them and they can bring him to tears in a second. This big red neck 6'5" 280 pound male is reduced to rubble by his little girls!!!! it is quite the sight to see!! He is my opposite but together we make a whole and for that I am thankful! I didn't use to be but with time and maturity and personal growth it has happened and I am ready for the first time in our married life (almost 11 years) to follow him anywhere! I am so secure in our relationship and just in him! it feels SO great!!!

I have had many great father figures in my life too.

My grandpa (my dad's step-dad) was my hero and I miss him still. He was the most gentle man you have ever met and I loved him deeply. He is the first person I want to see when I get to heaven besides my other children (from the miscarriages).

My father-in-law John, he is an amazing man of integrity and he loves selflessly. He adores J's mom and really has never treated J or his sisters like they weren't blood. He gives out of his heart and you can always count on him.

I also have a man in my life that I refer to as my Spiritual Father , Alf, my Pastor, he has been such a real example of the Father God's heart............he is an amazing man and I see the fruit of his presence in our lives. He lives what he preaches and that today, is hard to find!

So I am blessed............blessed to have so many great Father figures in my life.

2 comments:

MugwumpMom said...

Great post Lala. J really is a big...I mean REALLY BIG teddy bear isn't he?

Shash said...

You made me cry when you were talking about J! He does have a soft heart, you married a good one.

Remember Grandpa's big hugs or hand shakes - he'd squeeze you until it hurt. He was a strong man physically and spiritually. I'm glad he married Grandma and took on 2 teenage boys! Not many men like him, especially in the 60's