ahhhh what's the big idea????

who's idea was it to move???

I forgot how much work goes into moving! and it's only been 2 1/2 years....it might be one of those things that you subconsciously forget............ like childbirth........cuz if you ever really truly remembered............................. you would never do it again!!!

We had our first showing last night and what a fiasco!! the people didn't show up on time, 4pm, and then were rescheduled to come at 7 and then ended up showing up at 5:40 while I was on the phone with N's mom and J just got home, I had the neighborhood kids over and I was cooking dinner........you know the normal craziness that is my life..........I wasn't impressed. Our realtor is writing a letter to the just pop in whenever I feel like it realtor! that isn't going to fly with me....not with 4 kids and 2 dogs! besides the fact that I been busting my but for how long??? ugh.... so far we have another showing tomorrow night and an open house on Sunday.

We still don't know where we are going to move too. Still flirting with the idea of a big adventure...........who knows?? well.............God knows...............He will reveal it to us when the time is right!!

The hard part for me right now is that I still want acreage.............that is my dream........well one of them........I have several :-) ............it seemed like it was in reach and whamo......all gone now cuz my dad is mad/hurt/disappointed......whatever he is, I don't know cuz he isn't talking to me........that is weird........I have prayed about it and forgave him.......I think that I will have to keep forgiving him till the pain goes away. This is really really hard on me. I can see so much great stuff going on in my marriage right now and just in our lives and yet I have this ugly thing hanging in the back of my mind.........threatening to steal what joy I am experiencing! I am choosing not to let it which is really what it all comes down too isn't it? choices.......choices to be offended and stay in an unhealthy attitude, choices to not let go, choices to dwell on things that I have no control over, choices to let it consume my thought life and choices to let it affect my immediate future and where we are going.

One of the positive things I see happening is that our confrontation with N's mom is finally/hopefully bringing closure to the pain that Morgan has been going thru at school. We are supposed to be meeting tomorrow morning and M said that today at school all the girls were nice to her and she actually came home without the sense of heaviness...............I cried while praying for her on the way to school this morning. I was so moved by not only my love for my daughter but how much God loves her and hurts when she hurts. I sense a weight being lifted in this and that is just so awesome and I know that God is able to restore what seems to have been broken. My prayer is that there has not been any deeper damage from all this in her.......thank goodness we have pajamas!! and God of course!!

Another cool thing is I think I sold my van!! yahoo.......finally........... after what??.... almost a month???!!! the guy is waiting for his income tax and because he wants me to hold it for him, he is willing to pay asking price!!! so that is awesome cuz I have had hardly any phone calls on it!

One more thing that is cool is that I got recommended by someone special to me, to be the speaker at a summer camp for girls ages 12-14! It is up north a bit and would be for a week in July. I would actually get PAID to go and my expenses will get covered!! I can also bring all my girls and they will provide babysitting while I am speaking. I would speak for 1 hour in the morning and 1 hour in the evenings. The theme for this year is super hero's! I really would love to go..........J said I should go.........which is amazing........he said that he might come with me and the girls but he will go fishing everyday!!! my only hesitation is selling the house and any possible closing dates, but if J is going to go with me then...........we can just choose dates around that time. I have also been wondering/praying about what camp to send M too and this kind of all settles that matter too! So I will keep you posted about what happens with all that.

So as I have to do on an almost hourly basis I choose to focus on the positive things that are happening and trust that the hurt/anger/frustration/emotions that I am dealing with will all be completly healed soon.

4 comments:

Looney Mom said...

Wow, never a dull moment huh? I also have 4 kids at home and 2 dogs - I know!

I bounced off of Rena's Blog. I think I'll be by again.

MugwumpMom said...

Heh Lala,
That situation with your pa can be really hard and hurting. Been there. I can't tell you what to do..only what I did when I went through those kinds of things with J or ma...got alone, got quiet, got my journal and my bible, and talked to God about it...and listened...I always asked...show me the beam in my eye first Lord..and then listened...then... help me go and be reconciled like you asked...and then listened...and obeyed, even if I felt like I was the one being wronged. There might be nothing for you specifically to "repent" of, however, the Lord said "when you are giving your gift at the alter and remember that someone has something against you...He didn't say "you have something against them" but if they have something against you...meaning... it's the "innocent" party is the one who is asked to go and be reconciled. But how is that fair?!! Why?? Because the person giving the offense is usually in a fog thicker than the fog the person taking the offense is in. The person at the alter is the one who is coming to God with it...so that's the person He is going to use as the instrument of reconciliation..that's usually the person with the most clarity on the issue because they've been at the alter. Does this make sense?? I have a hard time putting stuff down..it rolls around in my brain with clarity but get jumbled up when it comes out of my mouth or fingers.
And here's the really tough part...the sooner the better. Don't worry about what you will say ... Holy Spirit will give you the words. And if he doesn't receive or respond..well, you responded to God's call to His purpose of peace and right relationship...so your responsibility is done.

love ya
Rena

shasher_72 said...

I hated getting the house all set up for viewings, especially after it had sold and I started to relax and then it unsold and we had to do it all over again... and I was in my last bit of pregnancy.... yah that was a joy!!

Send M out here for some of the summer!! Q is going out there August 1st-15th, Em's not joining him anymore, too much $$ for us right now.

We'll be going camping and having lots of fun, I have friends with horses......................

You still taking JZ in October??? Our tickets have been booked!

Faith said...

Wow, busy! Selling a house and moving are two ginormous things to get through!!