who's idea was it to move???
I forgot how much work goes into moving! and it's only been 2 1/2 years....it might be one of those things that you subconsciously forget............ like childbirth........cuz if you ever really truly remembered............................. you would never do it again!!!
We had our first showing last night and what a fiasco!! the people didn't show up on time, 4pm, and then were rescheduled to come at 7 and then ended up showing up at 5:40 while I was on the phone with N's mom and J just got home, I had the neighborhood kids over and I was cooking dinner........you know the normal craziness that is my life..........I wasn't impressed. Our realtor is writing a letter to the just pop in whenever I feel like it realtor! that isn't going to fly with me....not with 4 kids and 2 dogs! besides the fact that I been busting my but for how long??? ugh.... so far we have another showing tomorrow night and an open house on Sunday.
We still don't know where we are going to move too. Still flirting with the idea of a big adventure...........who knows?? well.............God knows...............He will reveal it to us when the time is right!!
The hard part for me right now is that I still want acreage.............that is my dream........well one of them........I have several :-) ............it seemed like it was in reach and whamo......all gone now cuz my dad is mad/hurt/disappointed......whatever he is, I don't know cuz he isn't talking to me........that is weird........I have prayed about it and forgave him.......I think that I will have to keep forgiving him till the pain goes away. This is really really hard on me. I can see so much great stuff going on in my marriage right now and just in our lives and yet I have this ugly thing hanging in the back of my mind.........threatening to steal what joy I am experiencing! I am choosing not to let it which is really what it all comes down too isn't it? choices.......choices to be offended and stay in an unhealthy attitude, choices to not let go, choices to dwell on things that I have no control over, choices to let it consume my thought life and choices to let it affect my immediate future and where we are going.
One of the positive things I see happening is that our confrontation with N's mom is finally/hopefully bringing closure to the pain that Morgan has been going thru at school. We are supposed to be meeting tomorrow morning and M said that today at school all the girls were nice to her and she actually came home without the sense of heaviness...............I cried while praying for her on the way to school this morning. I was so moved by not only my love for my daughter but how much God loves her and hurts when she hurts. I sense a weight being lifted in this and that is just so awesome and I know that God is able to restore what seems to have been broken. My prayer is that there has not been any deeper damage from all this in her.......thank goodness we have pajamas!! and God of course!!
Another cool thing is I think I sold my van!! yahoo.......finally........... after what??.... almost a month???!!! the guy is waiting for his income tax and because he wants me to hold it for him, he is willing to pay asking price!!! so that is awesome cuz I have had hardly any phone calls on it!
One more thing that is cool is that I got recommended by someone special to me, to be the speaker at a summer camp for girls ages 12-14! It is up north a bit and would be for a week in July. I would actually get PAID to go and my expenses will get covered!! I can also bring all my girls and they will provide babysitting while I am speaking. I would speak for 1 hour in the morning and 1 hour in the evenings. The theme for this year is super hero's! I really would love to go..........J said I should go.........which is amazing........he said that he might come with me and the girls but he will go fishing everyday!!! my only hesitation is selling the house and any possible closing dates, but if J is going to go with me then...........we can just choose dates around that time. I have also been wondering/praying about what camp to send M too and this kind of all settles that matter too! So I will keep you posted about what happens with all that.
So as I have to do on an almost hourly basis I choose to focus on the positive things that are happening and trust that the hurt/anger/frustration/emotions that I am dealing with will all be completly healed soon.