My friend Christa came over today and helped me clean and start getting the house ready. It took us about 4 hours to clean out 2 closets and my computer desk....in case you were wondering if I am a pack rat.....well.........I think you got your answer..........I even surprised myself!!! We threw away 3 huge garbage bags full of junk and 3 huge bags for the thrift store and 5 boxes of books/albulms to get stored and 5 more boxes started. WHEW what a job..........and what a lot of dust!!! I think we will both be blowing black for a long time. I got tons of paper work sorted and organized.........that feels so good!! progress feels wonderful. I have 2 cousins coming over tomorrow to help for 4 hours and Xangelle is coming for about 2............so that is awesome!! I am hoping to get some painting done and some serious sparkle happening.
I also have to coach Em's baseball team tomorrow night. J signed up as coach and has me fill in for him when he can't make it..............something that is annoying me somewhat cuz I have SO much on my plate right now. For starters he is gone until Sat!!! I have to have the house ready to show!! the date for that was supposed to be Thursday but there is no way that will happen........not even with the extra help.........however without the extra help I don't think it would be done until next week!!! I am so thankful for this help!!! like SO THANKFUL!!!
I wanted to get the 2 bedrooms all preped so that I could just start painting in the morning but I feel wasted and I don't want to completely wear myself out..........something that I feel is dangerously close to happening. If I think about the whole picture then I start to get overwhelmed.............not good!! I can only do so much and if it's not done by Monday then oh well........it will get done and it will be great.
I have only had 3 calls on the van.......that is disappointing but I am still not stressed about it. Somehow despite all that is going on in Lala's world I have a sense of peace and even excitement about what is happening and where we are going..........which we have NO idea!!! we talked quite a bit about it yesterday.......where to move......and we are clueless at this point. J mentioned selling everything ( sound familiar?) and taking a map and just pointing blindly to a place and going there first...........I was like wow really???? you would do that??? I would LOVE to do that.........as scary as that would be!! what an adventure!!! he mentioned some places here in BC and I was like Nah......cept for the lower mainland I wouldn't want to move anywhere else in BC.....not anymore. The further North you go..........the colder.........I don't like cold!! I like warm!!! we will probably just buy something about 1/2 hour East of here cuz it is the safe and expected thing to do.........I would just love to have the adventure though. It seems like a good time with selling the house and getting some freedom financially but whether that means it is the right time to make such a leap......I don't know? Anyways I am not stressed about it which is like huge cuz I would imagined myself as freaking.....I did when we sold the last house and didn't know where we were going!!! another sign that somewhere along the way here the last 2 1/2 years I have grown up!!!
Even if nothing comes of our dreaming I think it is great that J and I are dreaming together.......there have been SO many times in our marriage that we couldn't imagine living with each other another day..........we have hung in there..........got some great council and advice and are learning to love each other to a deeper level. It is possible........all things are. We had a fight last night........I know how fun is that the night before he leaves for 6 days??!!! it was getting heated and we didn't really get it resolved until tonight (we are both feeling a lot of pressure and with the wedding on Sat and about a month of late nights....we are feeling the effects!! add to this the incident with my dad and selling a house and you got yourself a recipe for disaster!!). I kept thinking to myself today.....why is it that when you feel like you've turned a corner sometimes you end up hitting a wall???? I know the answer to that.........but we have determined within ourselves to walk as a team. A healed unit on the same page........we have had to fight this as it has been a bit of a battle (understatement) but I know that we are going to come out ahead and victorious!! We love each other and have decided to love each other even if sometimes we don't feel like it! We are united in our decisions and that unity will bring peace to our children. It will bring freedom to our lives and happiness in our journey. And it leaves me with a sense of excitement in the air about what is next? where is our journey taking us?? California? Montana? PEI? Ontario? or just a bit further East here in BC?
I can't wait to find out!!!