My oldest is in grade 6. She attends a middle school. She got bullied last Friday. I called the principal and councilor and they got to the bottom of it. I had done her hair in braids....like lots of little braids........and I guess a couple of girls thought that was unacceptable. They made a barricade and wouldn't let her off the playground. They pushed her a couple of times and teased her about her hair. When I picked her up after school I could see on her face that something was wrong. It took her a long time to tell us what it was. She went straight to her room when she got home and had a good cry. I felt angry......like really angry............ I don't think I was ever teased about my hair.
I was talking to J this morning about how cruel girls can be. He doesn't really understand because he never experienced anything like this. I did. I had a friend in grade 7 (I was a year ahead so I should have been in grade 6) and at the end of the year she got a couple of other girls and a boy and they held me down at sports day and dumped buckets of water on me.....while they did they told me what they really thought of me.......I had NO idea that's how they felt and had NO idea that was coming. I was humiliated and shamed and to make things worse my friends mom came out.....saw us fighting.....uh ya....I fought back...I hit her on the back with my bucket that I managed to get away from her and was prepared to do battle....shash and I did our fair share of beating each other and I wasn't about to just "take it". Her mom brought us back into the school and they both began to yell at me and try to put me down......finally a teacher walked by heard what was going on, stuck her head in the door and came to my rescue!! I loved her for that!!!.....so I know a little about what Morgan is going through and how cruel girls can be.
She called me this morning from school wanting me to go pick her up. She said N isn't her friend anymore and is ignoring her and she just wants to come home. She was crying. It broke my heart. I want to go pick her up but know that that is life and reality and she has to learn to deal with people like this because they are everywhere.....in your workplaces, wherever you go.... for some reason there is someone there who you just rub the wrong way and vice versa. There is only 2 months of school left. I told her to go get a book from the library and spend her lunch sitting outside reading. I told her to be nice to the girls who are being mean and smile when you see them and don't let them see that they are getting to you cuz that's what they are wanting to do. She managed to pull herself together and go back to class. So much of me wants to home school her put her in a bubble and protect her from all the evils in the world. I know that I can't do that though. I know she needs to learn to deal with that.......part of me wonders how fair that is though???
I really see the struggle in being the oldest child too. I am the youngest and thereby perceived by my older sisters as being spoiled. I wasn't spoiled at all but I can see how as parents we expect more of our oldests. I am so much more relaxed with Faith then I was with any of the other girls. We made Morgan sit at the table until she finished ALL her dinner!!! I would leave her there and come back to find her curled up on her chair sleeping...... I am horrified at myself for ever doing that!! Faith sometimes doesn't even come to the table when we are all eating....she comes when she wants and eats what she wants.....I don't stress about her finishing all her food cuz I know she isn't going to starve and it's just not the big deal it was with Morgan. Because she is the oldest she does a lot around here too. She is the most capable which gets translated to the most work load! how is that fair? I am trying to adjust this, trying to get the younger girls to do more and recognize when Morgan is overloaded. I am trying to give her more privileges.....like letting her stay up to watch American Idol. J thinks she should be in bed, I said well 2x a week she can stay up to watch AI cuz she does so much around here. He has relented some what. See he is the oldest and to him it is part of life to carry a bigger responsibility.
So as far as next school year, I at this point, don't even know where we will be living! so to pick out a new school is a little difficult. I told Morgan to start praying about where she should go to school. I would like to send her to a private school but $380/mth is over our budget right now. This private school has a good drama program and an outreach program where they go on missions trips.....this is right up her alley!! she would love it there and I think she would "fit" there. Maybe I should talk to our parents and see if they can help to send her there? I just want to do what's right by her and protect her as much as I can. I know this age is difficult, add a bio-donor out there who has been a bit in and out of her life for the past 3 years and one who J and I don't trust, add being the oldest, add having a natural tendency to lie/self-protect (which we are working on with her), add hormones, add insecurities, add a sense of where/how do I fit, add so many things and all I can do is hope that we are doing the best by her and that she will come through it strong and healthy! I can't wait for grade 6 to be over!
I just want to clarify that I am NOT anti-homeschool!!! I believe if that is what you are called to do with your children then that is wonderful!!! I wouldn't want to do it out of "fear" but if I felt it was the right thing to do for one of my children or all of them I would do it.......I think all our children are so different and what works for one might not work for another! so I believe that with each individual child we need to feel at peace where they go to school....whether that means at home with you or in private/public where ever!!