Today's standards

I hope that my rant didn't scare anybody off yesterday.....I really needed to vent! I just wanted to clarify that I do really love my daughter......I can see sparkles of hope of a good friendship developing between us. I also know that it is more important for me to be her mom then her friend....but my hope is that when she is older she can see me as more than just her mom. I view my mom like that. We are SO close and I love shopping with her and just hanging out with her. I so want my girls to have that with me one day too.

This morning she sneaked some make up on. We were not allowed to wear makeup till we were 13......why 13? I don't know....maybe that is the magical make up age?? I don't know.....she put a little bit of mascara on and a touch of a cream eyeshadow....she actually did a good job! not like her self eyebrow plucking job.... yeesh....not so great!!! I hope she won't attempt to do that again either!! I have to get my camera fixed and take a good close up of that!! those are memories you don't want to forget!!! her best friend at school is allowed to wear makeup....she said most of the 12 year old girls are.......again I don't like being swayed by what "others" are doing....yet I know how much you don't want to be too different either! oh man does this get easier????? everyone tells me 15 is the worst year! and I think wow, it get's tougher than this??

I would love to hear when you let your daughters wear make-up or if you have any thoughts on any of this!!!

We did sign the form and let her participate in the sex ed class. Thank you all for your input. We will ask her some specific questions afterwards and talk to her all about it. They sent home an outline and I don't think it will be as bad as I first imagined it would be, after all these are grade 6 students!! having said that though, I know that today's worldly standards are not the same as when I was in grade 6. When I was in grade 6, Footloose, had just come out and we were not allowed to watch it. We were barely allowed to even go to the movie theatre's. It is amazing how much swearing and nudity there is on prime time!! as early as 5 pm it is not safe to let the girls change the channels. I have blocked a few stations because it didn't seem to matter what time of day it was, there was filth on tv.

It feels like today it is more scary to raise our kids then it was with us. We would play outside for hours with no walkie talkies or cell phones, in the forest or ravines and come home when the sun started to set. Today I don't even let my kids play out in the front yard unless the oldest is with them or there is a whole crew of kids out there. When we first moved here the kids were all playing out front and I was checking thru the window on them every few minutes and I saw this strange guy talking to them. He had no shirt on and was holding a beer ( it was like 1pm) so I made like I had to prune my roses out front and stayed out there with them. I hadn't been out there long when I heard my name being called and this "weirdo" was walking across the lawn to me. Turns out I went to private school with him from grade 7-10! he was actually one of my boyfriends!!! I was totally shocked to see him.......small world.... He is kind of a strange guy now but was safe to be with all these kids. sorry bunny trail but I think it all still fits! I think you just never know!

oops just checked the clock and I have to do a whole bunch of running around for J this morning!
time really gets away when you are rambling on and on

9 comments:

mommyof4 said...

I will not let my kids outside unless there is two or three others out there. It is so scary to raise our kids these days:( I try to what I can with them so they don't feel lik they have to find their own thing to do. I know you love Morgan you never have to explain yourself:)I let Falicia wear a small amout of makeup at the end of 11. She is allowed to wear it now but she hardly puts it on she is pretty without it:)

Patti said...

The make up thing.....well, seeing as I am one of your weirder and more out there friends......The make up thing is really not an issue for me.

My girls love to wear make up and I know that they are quite a bit younger than Morgan, but I really don't have an issue with it. I wear tons, myself and in my opinion it's more like playing than some great passage of right or whatever. I don't really want them to look gaudy, and as they get closer to the magic teenage years, I will probably steer them towards the softer colors, and steer them away from the baby blue eyeshadow and eye liner pencil that was so popular in my day. I have some nasty pictures with that eye shadow/liner.

I hear you on the whole safer when we were kids. I remember playing in the storm drains, river and forrest with you for hours. Walking between your house and mine, and they weren't all that close.(Yah the incredible green clay hulk)

I was really scared for a long time about my kids going off and playing. Now, I try to be aware of what they are doing, but am probably a little more relaxed than I was 2 years ago. We don't have a fenced yard, but do have a forrest in the back, and the kids go and play for hours...mind you they are in and out of the house a million times too. I have freaked when I couldn't hear them or when I called and they didn't answer. So far everythings been okay. I just have to trust that God will do His part, and I try to do the best I can to protect them without smothering them.

It's hard.

I think the best advice I've heard is to not do things just because that is how you were brought up. Think through everything from a logical standpoint and then do what You & J feel from your heart. If you believe it and believe in it with everything in you, you won't go wrong.

"Personal Conviction" is an amazing thing as long as there is an unwavering belief that backs it up.

Sorry for the freaky long comment. I love ya and am rooting for ya.

onangelwings said...

You are right about it being scary these days. I think it was probably scary when we were kids but it wasn't discussed as much. Kids are so much more aware these days. It is frightening to hear little girls on the elementary school playground talking about being fat and they talking about their clothes. I was allowed at 13 to wear a little make-up. I think I will probably hold to that for my daughter. I agree that we don't need to be out kids friends. There will be plenty of time for that in the future. Congrats on the loving relationship you have with your mom. I wish you the same for you and your little ones.

JeepGirl said...

I have the same make-up problem. She sneaks it on here and there. Not too bad right now. Its hard cause you want to make sure that they understand to come to you for any questions that they have in life.
Glad I only have one daughter. I'm getting way too many gray hairs.

holli said...

I wondered the same thing - when would you let a child pluck their eyebrows.. I mean what if it was a girl.. and they had a unibrow?? I don't know! However, I'm not big on makeup for teens, but I guess I don't have to worry about that for awhile.. one would hope!

Ruth said...

Wow, my daughter is only 8 and she is already asking why she can't wear make-up. I have told her 16, who knows, I was never really allowed to wear it as a teen until I became rebellious and wanted to freak my parents out around 17ish!!

Balck make-up can be worn many ways! I guess when we get to that bridge I will be crossing it, but it is very helpful to get some insight into this world now, before my time comes!!

Suz said...

My daughter was aloud to wear a little amount of makeup (lipgloss, light eyeshadow etc) at 14 and then the rest at 16. Though Iam sure like most girls/teens she put some on at school sooner then that. Its funny cause now she doesnt like the stuff much. She will wear eyeshadow and lipgloss and thats it now.

Definitely agree with things being a lot scaroer these days. My little one isnt aloud out without someone being with him and my older two have to check in constantly if they go out with friends.

Hugs Suz

Shash said...

I don't think a little bit of makeup will do any damage, you can still control the amount she puts on... you and her go get a make-over done together and have some fun with it (tell the lady beforehand and in private to go light...)there are many more things to worry about.

Speaking of wierd plucking and body hair... do you remember a certain little girl who shaved her ARMS...we're talking about the top side!

I agree with you - that the world has changed and it has done so forever and will continue to do so. Dad used to ride the bus at 5 years old by himself. We're talking about the Edmonton Public Transit Bus, not a school bus. Nowadays, I wouldn't let my 7 year old out of the yard by himself. Although he and his younger sister will be flying out west this August all by themselves... that scares me a bit! Pray for lots of angels!!!

owlhaven said...

I let my girls wear a TINY bit of carefully applied makeup at 12. Colored lipgloss is nice because it is mellow but gives them the feel of having a bit of makeup on...

And regarding the clock/calendar thing on my blog-- I can't believe you do that too! I thought I WAS ALONE in doing that!

Mary, mom to many