My boiling point

how long does it take to get your kids out of the house on any given day????

my little Hailey, she is almost 6, she is in Kindergarten......she takes 1 hour to actually get ready to walk out the door. She starts school just after noon and I start at 11....saying "Hailey time to get your uniform on.......Hailey time to eat lunch.....Hailey turn the tv off......Hailey come on sweetie time to get dressed......Hailey your lunch is waiting for you......Hailey........Haaaaiiilllleeeey...........and finally...... HAILEY GET YOUR BUT UPSTAIRS NOW AND GET READY FOR SCHOOL"

what am I doing wrong???

almost everyday she leaves for school crying because I end up getting frustrated, reaching my boiling point and raised my voice....... I have tried many different methods of getting her ready...nothing seems to work...

when I finally get her into her room with her clothes all laid out....she gets frustrated if she has to find them........she is the kind of kid that is looking for something at her feet and still can't see it.......she will start playing in her room.....she gets distracted SO easily....like she goes into her own world....she actually jumps when she sees me coming to check on her progress.....that's how into whatever she happens to be doing at the time, she is, which is not what she is supposed to be doing.......

by the time we get into the van to take her to school she is mad at me and I am mad at her...... then the whole " you don't love me " starts.....something I really have no patience for, "yes you can be mad and upset with me but you are not allowed to say that I don't love you cuz you know I love you!!!"

UGH...........so frustrating for both of us!!!!!!

it doesn't help that she really doesn't like school......she has a different learning style and we are working out what that is....she doesn't know all her letters or her sounds.....she doesn't seem to have the greatest memory or filing system for what she has learned yet......she has a huge self awareness though, she gets frustrated at school if her work doesn't look exactly like the teachers!! you know when they cut a shape out.....she actually gets that her's doesn't look like the teachers where the other kids are just so proud that they cut a shape with sissors.....her art work however, is amazing. Her drawing skills are totally beyond the other kids...in fact she probably would be at a grade 2 level at least with her drawing....her cartoon characters are better than mine!!! so she is gifted and hey this is just kindergarten after all......she just struggles more than her sisters did at this point...she has been my only child so far that really doesn't want to go to school....the other girls were so ready for school and couldn't wait to go...in fact Emily would ask "is it time to go yet" over and over....

it really is amazing how different each kid is!!!

I love my Hailey to pieces, she is the spark in our lives!! she keeps us laughing all the time!! putting underwear on her head....she'll start laughing at the dinner table for no reason and get everyone in stitches....she comes up with the funniest come backs which are quite quick and make her sisters stumble for things to say... and she defends her baby sister and is such a great big sister to her....sometimes I wonder if it would have been easy for her to be the oldest instead of stuck in the middle.....

so any suggestions on how to get her ready for school and out the door without the usual routine of crying, yelling, frustration and boiling points???? I'll try anything

Comments

Renee said…
I went through this with Emma (now 8) for years and years! It made me crazy, but she has finally just grown out of it. she's a lot better this year, in second grade, than she's ever been. Hopefully, Hailey will grow out of it too!
Suz said…
Hugs ... I get everyone up at 6:30 and the older two get the bus about 7:40. I really dont have any advice for you cause even in their teens age years sometimes iam yelling at them to hurry up and get out the door. Gonna be interesting when litleman has to get the bus at 7 for kindergarten.

Hopefully Hailey will get better with getting ready in the morning.

Hugs Suz
Darlene said…
Hi, this is shannon's church friend Darlene, I will meet you when you come in March.
I too have a daughter that is difficult to stayed focused in the things she has to do especially getting ready for school, although she loves it. First thing when she wakes up, she needs to tell me in order of what needs to be done to get out the door on time. Eat, dressed, teeth, and hair,if she has done this without much prodding from myself and if she has time she can watch t.v, or play. A friend also reccommended cutting out pictures of what she has to do and maybe having a check beside each pic, that has been completed for the day. A white board would work best.
I am hoping that olivai grows out of it soon she has just turned 8.
Looking forward to meeting you,
Darlene
Shash said…
Ruth was telling me about a school out here that works with the student’s talents and way of learning; it is bent towards the arts. Is there such a place out there? Artistically gifted children tend to learn at a whole other speed, their minds are just wired differently.

Put her in her uniform when she goes to bed. I used to sleep in mine in order to save time in getting ready in the morning ~ we all know how much of a morning person I am… NOT!

Remember to spend more time praising her than anything, find those little moments that make you smile and point them out to her frequently. Kids have a way of remembering all the yelling and forgetting all the praise...
Ruth said…
I find that starting earlier in the day (like at least 2 hours) we can make it out of the house on time. Kids are all different and my daughter who is 4 is like that. We send her upstairs to get dressed for preschool and she is up there at least an hour. I go up and she will be doing something else. So, we start a LOT earlier and I actually physically go and watch her or help her get ready. She doesn't seem to mind, but maybe one day she can do it herself, on time!!

Darlene, I like the idea of a chart with pictures on it....
Lala's world said…
thanks for all the advice and input.... I just something new too. I set the timer for 5 minutes and said k Hailey see if you can beat the clock, let's see if you can get your socks and underwear (she will not think to put underwear on I have to daily remind her) on and brush your teeth before the dinger goes.....she took off running...hopefully she does a good job brushing but one battle a time right!!!
ooohh she is saying she is done better go check
Lisa said…
My son sounds like Hailey. He needs constant reminders to stay on track in the morning. My husband has resigned himself to make Zach his lunch, hand him his breakfast and shove him out the door. Zach is a night-hawk so mornings don't come easy. We send him to bed at a decent time, but he has trouble falling asleep. All we leave him to do on school days is to shower and get dressed...it's not that he can't do the rest, it's just easier for everyone if we help him on school mornings. Zach is easily distracted and has trouble staying focused. He has been tested and has been diagnosed with learning disabilities but is still very bright...I think his processing issues leave him a bit scattered, especially in the morning. We have learned to love this about him, and don't usually get upset with him, he can be very entertaining... We're not trying to do everything for him, and he does need to do things on his own so we give him opportunities to grow in this area. For now, we don't want to drive him to school so we're happy to keep him on track so he can catch the bus, but it can be frustrating. He's always been this way, he didn't grow out of it, he's now 15yrs, 5'11" and still growing...I suspect he'll struggle to remember things, and to stay on task even as he grows up. He's the kind of person who needs a personal secretary... I know it, he's a lot like me... and I still struggle to stay on task...which reminds me I need to get back to my homework, I have school tonight and I'm still in my jammies...
mommyof4 said…
Oh girl I know where you are coming from. I had the sameproblem with Brandon. He grew out of it by second grade! Try starting her to get ready as soon as she wakes up. Katie is in afternoon Kind and I have her get dressed as soon as she gets up or I sould say as soon As I get up! I give her lunch at 11 so there is plenty of time before we go. Hope this helps hang in there... she will get older!;)
momyblogR said…
Are you SURE it's not a little blond girl with a pea in her nose at your house. LOL! I have to ride my girl pretty hard in the morning to get herself together too. And it usually ends up with me shouting....LET'S GOOOOOO! lol.

Maybey it is just a phase.
My 3 year old goes to preschool with dd of ruth, I dress her in her sleep if she isn't awake when I finally get up. we have a crying fit if it is me, but however Daddy has a different touch (the fear of him)healthy fear but doesn't help me I have to spank or throw stuff out which is a temporary crying but changes her attitude, I would threaten to leave her home, but she didn't mind, because daddy is fun at home...

I guess eventually they grow out of it is the sensus I am glad to hear!!!
holli said…
Oh.. my niece is like this.

Get everything you can in place and ready to go the night before, so that it's like an assembly line. That's what I have to do with myself because I'm the same way.. I would diddle dawdle around until I'm late every morning if I could!! :)

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