In Her Shoes

we watched In Her Shoes, a couple of days ago. It was a great movie. I highly recommend it! In fact I would give it a 4.5 out of 5!

The movie is basically about sisters and their relationships. This is something I know lots about because I have 3 sisters, all older than me and each one so different from each other. My relationship with each one is as different as they are individually. I often wonder how much birth order dictates those relationships as well?

Being the youngest I was looked at as spoiled. From my perspective I was anything but spoiled! in fact I thought my parents were a lot harder on me than my sister closest in age to me. But isn't that what makes us all so different...perspective???

To give you a bit of a background on me, my mom was married before my father. She married her high school sweet heart at the age of 19, basically got pregnant with Tam on her wedding night and 11 months after she was born gave birth to Kim. She left him when the girls were real small and met my dad when they were 6 and 7 years old. My parents met and married in 6 weeks!!! yup totally crazy and not recommended, however they have lasted 34 years now!!! it was a rocky start but they are best friends now and totally complete each other. My sister Shash was born in their first year of marriage and I was the only planned pregnancy my mother had, except that she had planned on a boy and SURPRISE I was her 4th girl!! My oldest sis was 11 when I was born and Kim was 10, Shash was 21 months. Kind of like 2 sets of kids.

Growing up I never felt the difference between my older so called "half" sisters and my sis Shash, and I still don't. There was never any your dad my dad stuff at all. I vaguely remember meeting their dad and going to his house and playing with his next set of kids!! My dad adopted the girls soon after he married my mom.

My sis Tam got married when she was 19! she has been married for almost 25 years and has 3 beautiful children, well not really children anymore, more like adults ages 22,20 and 18! her daughter is getting married this May! she is 20 (almost 21). I have always had a close relationship with Tam. When I was a teenager her house was a place of refuge for me. I would babysit and sleep over whenever I could! I loved it there. I have great memories of helping her clean her house and singing that stupid song......... oh what was it called??...went something like "take that broom broom broom and get up to your room, just one more excuse and I'll kick your caboose, nag nag nag your such a hag..." and so on! I also could talk to Tam about anything! it was great!! we are still close, we live 10 minutes apart and she comes over once a week for coffee.

My sis Kim ran away from home when she was 16. I was only 6 at the time. She moved back home when she was 17 and shortly got pregnant. I am only 8 years older than my nephew. It was great for me, kind of like getting that younger sibling I always wanted! He was fun to play with and soon Tam had her first baby too, I loved being such a young aunt and bragged about it. How many kids do you know in Elementary school become Aunties??? I am sad to say that I don't know Kim very well. I love her and I know she loves me. The choices she has made in life have separated her from her family and not by our choice. It is a hard, weird feeling, wondering what she is up too and trying to separate yourself emotionally because it would hurt more if you care too much. She is now a grandma! became one when she was 39. Some things end up repeating themselves. My mom was a mom at 20 a grandma at 40 and a great grandma at 60!

My sis Shash lives in Ontario now. We have kids the same ages, well almost all of them anyways. Her kids are 7,5,3 and 6 months. Mine are 11,7,5 &3. It kind of sucks that our kids live so far apart and for us too. Our relationship probably has been the most complicated. When we were little we were best friends. Our mom said we were inseparable. When she turned 12 and I was still 10 things began to change. She was going thru the big change I guess and didn't want much to do with her "baby" sister. She teased me at school, in front of everybody and started shutting me out of her life bit by bit. It was hard. I didn't really understand it all. It became a sort of love-hate relationship for many years. At that time I would have related to the characters in the movie "in her shoes" quite well. Not because my sister was like the character played by Carmen Diaz but in the aspect of they were brutal to each other but needed each other so much at the same time. I remember many a door being slammed in my face when I was trying to be there for her and all she could see was an interfering little brat. I actually starting thinking we would never recover what we had in our early childhood years. It all changed when I got married. She moved back home and we started just hanging together and it was all of a sudden comfortable again. When she told me about Dave the first time, we both started crying because we knew she was going to marry him and move across the country. I knew I was loosing her somehow when I just got her back. We are close now and those hard teen years seem a distant memory.

Part of all this......the dynamics of birth order.... who our siblings are....all contribute who we become as individuals. Looking back at the memories some good, some bad and some painful, I know I wouldn't change a thing if I could. They have all made me who I am today and I am happy and content with that! I know having sisters is amazing and I really couldn't imagine my life without them and I am thrilled that I have 4 daughters, just like my mom and I hope I do as good of a job as my mom did!!

whew all that to tell you to rent 'In Her Shoes'. Let me know what you think of the movie!

Comments

holli said…
Whew - I read it all! I think it's great you're close to your sisters..

I keep seeing commercials for that movie - over and over and over!!

I have no idea what that song is, but I can see how it could get stuck in your head!
Renee said…
I'll need to check it out. I have a sister who is 15 months older than me, and we've been through many ups and downs.
Anonymous said…
My sister and I didn't get along growing up, but I count her one of my closet friends now.
As for your sister Shash, we are great friends and I'm glad she's here for me to get to know.
I'm going to watch "In Her Shoes" this week, thanks for the input.
Lisa
Shash said…
You're right it is all perspective... ;-)

I think it started when mom said to me one day that I couldn’t go over to a friend’s house unless I took you with me. A nasty ball of resentment started to form in my stomach. (btw, I vowed never to do this to my own children) Mom dressing us the same all time I’m sure didn’t help either… We went from playing Nadia Comaneci and Theadora Ongaleani in the basement of our house to big sister / little sister.

Things started to change towards the end of high school though, we worked in the same restaurant (didn't I get you the job) then high school was over and I went off to Japan and a year later you went off to Africa (and almost died there). When we got home we were adults (still classified as teens but adults through our experiences).

We got even closer through your pregnancy and birth of your first little angel. It was a privilege to be in the delivery room. I was in University and carried around a rather large cell phone, “the brick”, waiting for the news that you were going into labour – I rushed out of class and drove the 40 minute drive to the hospital – many many times as the little angel did not want to come out. It took Greek food to coax her out in the end... My professors started not to believe me that I had a sister who was pregnant who needed me. But you did, and for that I am glad.

Thank you for continuing to love me through all the hormonal problems and typical selfish mood swings of a teenage drama queen.

I love you a lot and I am so very happy that we have now an incredible yet so far away sisterhood.
Ruth said…
Shash has told us about the door slammings of her past too!! It sounds similar to my relationship with my sister. We were great friends and then I grew up. Wanted nothing to do with her (or at least that was what I told her!!) and now we are both parents and get along really well. I will definately have to see that movie now!
Suz said…
Thanks for sharing your sisters with us.

I have a sister 17 months younger then me. Growing up we always fought but are close now. I also have a half sister who Iam sad to say iam not that close with.

Will have to check out the movie.

Hugs Suz
mommyof4 said…
My sister and I are best friends! Growing up we were togther all the time until I hit 13 and I guess I did the same thing your older sis did. The thing is my sister was a good girl who got good grades. I was just the oppisite. But now we are best friends, She is really the only true friend I have. I hope my three girls stay close! I will have to check out that movie! How is it going with aymie?
JeepGirl said…
Wow- great post lady ! I had one sister and one brother. I was the oldest and I think I was closer to my brother than my sister. And he was the yongest. I'm not sure why, maybe the tough teen years like you discussed. I haven't seen the movie but it sounds like a good one to see with my daughter.
Thanks-

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