Mixed Day... ahhh help!!!

I survived the party today, that was actually a good part of my day today! I got up early, which was amazing to me because my family was over last night until after 1:30am!! I still hadn't finished cleaning the house, planning the games and picked up all the goodies. Ya I felt real organized!!! uhem

so......... anyways it was a good party though and Emily and her friends had a great time. We had 12 guests plus my 4 so do the math..... that's a lot of little girls!! we only got a little bit of paint on clothing, which I consider a success! I do wish that I had put on the invitations that we were going to paint, doah, the seemed ok with it. I felt aweful, I am sure some were not too pleased, not that I blame them. I did have some of Jason's shirts for them to wear, it didn't help that Faith (my 3 year old) walked around with a paint brush painting everyone's backs!! haha
she got some great presents and I filled everyone with enough sugar to really tick all the mom's off! paint on their clothes and a sugar high....... niiiiiice.

the down side to my day was well..... you got 50 hours?? my oldest has been lying to me and tonight got caught. The (#$# hit the fan. To give you a bit of a history on me, since I am new to the blog world, my oldest daughter has a different biological dad. My husband adopted her after we got married when she was 1 1/2. Her bio-dad is a ($#$ #$#*(#$! )#(_@!)(@ ya you get the picture. He also happens to be bi-polar and in denial about EVERYTHING. He is manipulative and feeds on her emotions. A year ago we put a stop to the communication because we felt he crossed to many lines and was showing no respect to us or her. He doesn't have any legal rights to her and we felt for now, that is best. She contacted him again in Dec. behind our backs. She told us that he contacted her first, just a web of lies began to be formed. The brutal fact is that I was going to go to the police. As far as we were concerned a 33 year old man was contacting an 11 year old girl without her parents knowledge or consent. The whole thing could have been real ugly. Tonight we find that she actually instigated it this time. AHhhhh (deep sigh). What is right to do in this case and what is wrong? she is at a fragile age and I remember what it was like to go through puberty. At the same time..... I can't let her get away with lying. The computer is obviously off limits for her for a VERY long time. Not because she contacted him but because she lied about it all. I can't trust her right now and I think that is the part that breaks my heart the most. I don't even know what to think or anything! Raising kids is not easy and this stage with my oldest is so challenging and I have to admit, I don't know what to do. Push to hard and drive her away, don't push enough and loose her too..... tough choices.
Obviously there is years of background to this situation, I just want to make right decisions by her.....


Anonymous said…
makes u wonder about the complicated world of dads and daughters
Lala's world said…
I think I am just entering into a whole new world of parenting that is much much different then dealing with small children!!
another hard part to all this is that my husband knew she was lying, and I stood up for her, basically believing her over him, I didn't want him to be right. Now that I know he was I feel like a jerk. Where would I be without him, I don't know! makes me realize how much daughters need their fathers!! and Jason is truly her father, not the other yahoo.
mommyof4 said…
I feel your pain but I will let you know that I went through the same thing with my oldest and her "sperm donor". She came to realize on her own that he is a jerk and he will not change. She don't even really talk about it. Maybe if your give her time she will realize it too. But I do not know your whole story. I hope it works out ok. Hugs>>>
Lala's world said…
thanks mommyof4, this is tough stuff right??!! I thought letting him have some access was the right thing to do at the time, hoping he had changed, but nope he is the same bastard that he always was. He actually set up a secret email for her to contact him without me knowing about it!! like who does that kind of thing??? I am thinking that is preditor behaviour and it scares the crap out of me.
I asked her last night why she contacted him again, after a year of nothing....that is a really long story, she said she doesn't know. Is there some kind of strange desire to know one's biological factor even when their evil?? guess she has yet to figure that out on her own!!

oh and thanks for commenting!! I am a new blogger and it feels great to get a comment!!! so keep em comin and I will do the same!!

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